Dangerous Minds
by obsessed1
Summary: John and Elizabeth are captured on a planet. When they return home are they really okay?Whump
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Hoping you all like my attempts. I warn you now; I need reviews if I am to continue. It's the lifeblood of the fanfic writer. Reviews more chapters.

Pretty please. (See I just can't blackmail!)

"Okay, so you're all ready for tomorrow?" asked Elizabeth scanning over her latest pile of paperwork, which had been ever so kindly presented to her by Rodney.

"All set," said Rodney through a mouthful of his sandwich and spraying crumbs over the table top.

"You have to do that here?" asked John, flicking one of the crumbs onto the floor.

Rodney stopped chewing momentarily and then after an exaggerated roll of the eyes continued to eat and talk at the same time, "I've been working all night. This is breakfast…or is that lunch? I forget."

John shook his head and reached for Rodney's plate. His hand was slapped away and he gave Elizabeth a stressed look.

"We've had a.." Rodney bit into his sandwich again, "Preliminary look at the site. All indications are good. The ruins are a ten minute walk to the east," he paused to swallow, "Really interesting," he said finally popping the last piece of bread into his mouth.

"Finally," said Aiden from the end of the table.

"What?" asked Rodney wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, "You never seen anyone eat before?"

"Not so fast," said Aiden with a shake of his head.

"And with not so much…mess," said Teyla smiling.

"It was a rhetorical question. Rhetorical. It means I didn't want your thoughts on the matter," Stated Rodney brushing crumbs off his hands and the debriefing table.

Elizabeth looked over to John who was giving Rodney a light shove on the shoulder, "Crumbs," he said pointing down at his lap.

Rodney waved a hand at him dismissively, "The downfall of many a man," he said snarkily.

"They'll be the downfall of you if you don't stop spraying them in my direction,"

"Oh please," said Rodney crossing his arms across his chest.

John sighed, "I want to take a puddle jumper over the area. It has all the markings of a possible alpha site, should we need it. Just want to do a little recon."

"I thought you already did that?" asked Rodney suddenly, "Are you saying it's not safe there?"

John shook his head and closed his eyes, "The first sweep of the perimeter indicated that the area was secure. It's well covered, it's on a main track not far from the gate." He gave Elizabeth a look, "It's safe."

"Okay," said Elizabeth finally clasping her hands, "You should all get some rest. You leave early tomorrow morning."

Each member got up slowly and ambled out of the room, but John lingered back for a moment after the others had left. He sensed that Elizabeth had more to say to him. Perhaps it was intuition, or perhaps it was the way she had fixed him with those green eyes just as he was evacuating his seat.

"Major. I was wondering…..Is there room for one more on this mission?" She kept her eyes down, focused on the mass of papers in front of her.

John shuffled from one foot to the other and seemed to be grimacing, "I really don't want Bates coming with us. Him and Teyla don't get on. Oh not that botanist guy, he's just..well……Rodney has a problem with botanists. I think he holds them responsible for lemons or something." He was just about to reel off more names when Elizabeth interjected.

"Rodney has a problem with most people," said Elizabeth glancing up at her 2IC, "No, I was actually talking about me."

John raised his eyebrows and licked his lips, "You?"

"It's been a while since I've stepped through the gate," she said standing up and pulling a pile of papers into her arms, "You also forget I can translate ancient," she said dropping one of the papers.

"Are you sure?", John bent to pick it up but on getting back up he saw the excited gleam in her eyes. "We'd love to have you," he said putting it back on top of the pile. On seeing Elizabeth struggle he grabbed the whole pile, "Where to?"

"My office," she said walking behind him, "And I promise I wont interfere. This is your area. Strictly military," She said bouncing with nervous energy. "Of course if we were to meet some of the inhabitants, I would hope you would defer the diplomatic matters to me."

John now rolled his eyes, "Sure," he said to appease her, and if he was truly honest he never really enjoyed the whole meet and greet experience anyway. "On one condition." stated John, with a glint in his eye.

"What?" asked Elizabeth apprehensively.

--------

"Is this really necessary?" asked Elizabeth as John handed her the Beretta. "I thought you said this planet was safe."

John handed her a pair of ear protectors and some goggles, "It is." He said pushing her to the line at his makeshift shooting range.

They were in a large abandoned room with a target displayed on a wire at the other end of the room. Somebody had painted a rather haphazard white line as a marker of where to stand. "I just like to know that all of my team members are prepared if they need to be," he gave her a comforting pat on the arm.

Elizabeth raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "Team member?"

John sighed, "Just in case."

"I've held a gun before," she said pushing a stray hair from her eyes.

"Ah, but have you ever fired one?" asked John brandishing a serious expression that his eyes betrayed.

"I won't need a gun tomorrow," she said trying to keep her fingers away from the trigger.

"Doesn't mean that you won't ever need to use one."

He pulled out his own handgun and showed her how to disengage the safety and how to reload it after all of the bullets had been expelled.

"Now you want to keep your stance loose to begin, feet shoulder width apart," he said demonstrating, "Move your arms out, keep your shoulders loose, but lock at the elbows, one hand on the trigger the other clasped underneath." He fired off a few shots and hit the target dead centre.

He fired a few more off, his face a mask of concentration.

Elizabeth watched the hard lines of his handsome face and knew not to be fooled by his outward exterior. He had the ability to switch to a killer at the given opportunity, and she was suddenly reminded of him shooting Kolya when she had been in his grasp. For a moment she had thought she had been shot herself, but John had aimed with keen accuracy at Kolya and he had fallen through the gate with an audible gasp.

Not only had he done that, but he had killed a whole contingent of Geni spies in cold blood that day. Not forgetting the initial shot to Sumner's heart which seemed to begin this whole fiasco.

He turned to her and breathed out hard, "See, easy."

Elizabeth walked to the line and placed the cumbersome earphones on. She tried to replicate John's pose and bought the gun up in front of her to aim.

Closing her eyes she pulled the trigger. She was surprised when she felt the stillness in her hands. She guessed she had always expected a gun to make more of an impact.

John stepped forward and pulled her earphones down, "You didn't take off the safety." He said disengaging it, "And it helps if you open your eyes when you fire." He smiled and replaced the head gear, indicating for her to have another go.

She fired off a few shots but none of the bullets hit home.

She pulled the headgear off and set it down to the side, "Well I think he got the idea." She said smiling feebly.

Elizabeth went to hand the gun back to John but he wouldn't take it, instead, he made her stand in position again.

Elizabeth was about to protest when she felt him press himself against her back. His strong arms came up around her and for a moment she thought he might hug her. Instead, his hands clasped around hers and corrected her stance, "You feel that?" he said.

She could feel his hot breath on her neck and it made the hairs stand on end.

She nodded. She could smell a mixture of musk and soap, which made her slowly realise how much she missed being close to the opposite sex. Of course, not _John Sheppard_ opposite sex.

He was strictly off limits.

Purely a professional relationship.

"Try now," he said correcting her right elbows position. "That should be more comfortable."

She licked her lips and concentrated on being calm. She could feel John's heartbeat against her own and she honed in on it. It was good to know that John Sheppard was human like the rest of them, even if it times he defied the odds and limitations.

She fired off a shot and it struck the target. Not the centre, but close.

"See now you're causing damage," said John taking a step back, but not completely letting go, "Try again, keep the target in sight, stare straight down the line"

Elizabeth pulled the trigger and felt the slight kick as the gun hitched back in her hands. An 'oh' escaped her lips as she watched the bullet strike the top of the targets head.

John put his hands on her shoulders and gave them a slight squeeze, "Good job. He's dead."

---------------------

Rodney ducked as the puddle jumper above whipped up dirt and debris and promptly deposited it in his face.

"He's doing that on purpose!" shouted Rodney, getting into a standing position and shielding his eyes from the sun.

"You're imagining things Doctor Mckay, now move," said Stackhouse pushing him on.

"I'm moving," he said scrambling up a steep hill, "It just strikes me as somewhat strange how he would choose to take such a low flight path over my head," he said readjusting his backpack on his shoulders.

"Shut up Mckay," he heard Aiden call out from behind him.

"I'm sure Major Sheppard would not deliberately intend to do as you believe," said Teyla the voice of reason.

----------

"Did you see that?" exclaimed John grinning from ear to ear and turning to Elizabeth.

She was sat in the co-pilot seat, fingers resting loosely in her lap. She seemed distant, contemplating the view ahead of her.

"I saw," she said not looking at him.

"I was just messing around." He said defensively taking a firmer hold of the controls. "I wouldn't have hit him."

Elizabeth was yet again staring out the front, quietly drumming her fingers now, completely lost in her own thoughts

"Penny for your thoughts," he said readjusting some of the controls.

She turned and gave him a weary smile, but her eyes betrayed something deeper, "I was just thinking about the wraith," she said swallowing hard, "Not a day goes by where they don't seem to pop into my head."

"I know what you mean," said John giving her a sideways glance.

Elizabeth gave herself a mental shake and urged herself to snap out of the mood she had woken up with. "So, how's this place looking?" she asked peering out through the view screen.

He shrugged, "Seems okay, no sign of inhabitants so far," and then a little bit quieter he said, "It's not Atlantis."

_Major Sheppard_

John activated his comms and sighed, "Yes Stackhouse,"

_We've arrived at the ruins Sir._

"Glad to hear it," said John stretching, "Keep alert and check in with me every half hour," he went to sign off but then thought better of it, "Oh and Stackhouse,"

_Yes Sir_

"Don't let Rodney out of your sight."

_Yes Sir_

------------

An hour later something hit the side of the ship and Elizabeth felt herself slide from her seat and onto the floor. She gripped at the console in front of her and tried to force calm.

"What's happening?" she cried as she managed to push herself back into her seat.

"We've been hit." said John gripping the controls so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

"Who's firing at us?"

"Cant tell. Dense woods," he said gritting his teeth.

"Cant we go invisible?" she asked holding the arm rests to keep herself upright.

"Already thought of that," he said pushing something on the console, "We must have taken some damage, it's not working."

An image was displayed on the view screen in front of them and John spent a moment looking at the image grimly.

"Anything?" she asked hopefully.

"No," he said as the image disappeared, "The only open area is all water. I'd kill for a runway right now."

Another hit to the rear and John felt his hands jerk free of the controls as he was knocked forward. Relinquishing his grip on the ship he managed to pull it up into the atmosphere, but another shot sent shockwaves through the internal hull and he could feel the stability of his puddle jumper failing.

"Rodney, we have a problem here." He shouted activating his ear piece.

_Major_

The voice on the other end sounded panicked already and John hadn't even told him what the problem was yet.

"Somebody's firing on us," he shouted as the ship was shaken violently as it began to descend, "We're loosing altitude a few miles from your position," he relayed quickly, "South."

_Who's firing at you?_

"Rodney I don't know." said John exasperated. "I'm kind of preoccupied at the moment."

_Well are they going to come to us?_

"Rodney!"

_If we come to you, surely they'll find us_

"Rodney"

_Oh my god, I knew this place wasn't safe_

"Rodney!" John and Elizabeth shouted simultaneously.

_What?_

"We're going to crash. I'm loosing altitude," he said adrenaline pumping through his veins.

The jumper began to descend with frightening expediency and Elizabeth gripped the armrest even tighter as she felt the under carriage scraping over trees, clawing at their under belly, threatening to pull them down even farther.

John was attempting to pull the front of the puddle jumper up so they wouldn't hit the ground head on.

"Hold on!" he shouted bringing his arm up in front of his face.

The whining of overstressed bulkheads and screaming metal was punctuated by beeping from the consoles as they alerted them to what they already knew.

Elizabeth barely had time to react as the Jumper neared what seemed to be a body of water and as the jumper hit the waves with a sickening crunch, her world faded to black.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews so far. It always makes me go 'EEEP' when I see what you've put.

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Elizabeth opened her eyes and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

They had crashed.

She heard the sounds of waves lapping and realised from her position on the floor that water was rushing in through damage in the bulkhead.

Now she remembered.

They had crashed into water.

Managing to pull herself upright and shaking off the vestiges of unconsciousness, she searched the cockpit for John. He was splayed out across the console, his head resting on one arm, the other dangling loosely at his side.

"John?" she called out tentatively and gave him a gentle shake. She felt his neck and released the breath she didn't realize she was holding as it pulsed strong and steady.

He stirred briefly but made no attempt to move, "John, don't do this now." She said glancing at the view screen and seeing that the water was half way up it.

"_Doctor Weir, Major Sheppard," _

Elizabeth felt for her earpiece and realised that it must have fallen out in the crash. She reached for Johns and tucked it snugly into her ear, "Rodney, Am I glad to hear your voice."

"_Are you okay?"_ he asked rather breathlessly, _"We're running in your direction_,"

"John's unconscious," she said releasing her grip on his shoulder, "And we're sinking."

"_Sinking?"_ questioned Rodney his breath coming out in short bursts.

"We landed in a lake," she said watching the water at her feet.

"_Okay, just stay put."_ Said Rodney_, "We should be with you soon. Stackhouse how long?"_

"_At this rate ma'am, we'll be with you in twenty minutes"_ said Stackhouse quickly.

"_Don't worry,"_ said Aiden into his radio_, "We'll make it to you double time._" She could hear the youthful enthusiasm in his voice, but knew they probably wouldn't get there in time.

"_Elizabeth, are you submerged yet?" _asked Rodney.

"No, not yet," she said rubbing at her forehead. When she bought her hand down to her face she realised it was covered in blood.

"_Listen, you need to break that forward portal before the jumper goes under." _

"Okay" she said searching around for something weighty to start hitting the glass with.

"_Elizabeth,"_

"Im looking Rodney. Just concentrate on getting to us. Fast." She added.

"_Elizabeth,"_ he said more loudly this time, _"If you completely submerge, you'll have to wait till the inner compartment fills with water before you can get out_." There was a pause, _"The pressure has to equalise."_

Elizabeth swallowed hard and realised the implications. _"You need to wake the Major,"_ said Aiden.

"_I think she knows that,"_ said Rodney exasperated.

The earpiece crackled and she tried it again. "Rodney?" She couldn't hear anything; obviously the water was interfering with their transmission.

Elizabeth managed to find a piece of metal piping and clambered up onto the console. She gave John a quick glance to see if he was awake, but he was unmoving.

She took a swing at the large window, paused brieflyand thencontinually hit it until her wrist hurt. She realised quickly that this particular window was not going to crack. She wasn't surprised. The ancients hardly did anything by halves. "Shit," she cried out, temporarily startled by her use of language. Thankfully, John was still out and hadn't witnessed her obvious break in her normally steely composure.

The jumper tilted and she felt herself lose her balance. She fell off the console and into the water which had since got higher and if at all possible, colder.

"Rodney," she tapped the headset, "Rodney! I can't break it. You hear me, it won't break. Rodney," She tapped the earpiece a few more times and watched as more water spewed into the cockpit.

"_You……..to wake Shep….., When……blow that inner hatch….. he's going to need to swim"_ She heard Rodney say through the static.

She understood his intent and waded over to John. On seeing the closeness of his face to the water, she rested her hand under his head, "John, wake up," she said giving him a shake, "Damn it." She tried her radio again, "He's not waking," There was no response. "John, please." She said and this time splashed a little water in his face. His eyelid twitched. "John."

He was as stubborn unconscious as he was conscious and Elizabeth took a moment to examine his head. Without moving his head she could see he had a cut on his cheek which drizzled blood down his face and onto his arm.

"If you don't wake up I'll put you on the graveyard shift for the next month."

The threat went unnoticed and again she tried to shake him. The movement elicited another mumble and he stirred slightly.

The water was rising even faster and Elizabeth's face dropped in dismay when she looked at the forward view screen and watched as they slipped below the water. She thought she heard a crack at the view screen, but it proved her paranoia was getting the best of her and she shook her head.

The water rose above John's mouth and nose and Elizabeth quickly took a step forward to stop her 2IC from his impending drowning.

John felt water hit his face and swallowed hard against the nausea that rose as he remembered with startling clarity the events that had led to him lying over his flight controls, his head throbbing and the taste of blood in his mouth.

"John ,John you stubborn bastard, wake up!"

A hand caught him off guard at his shoulder and he shot up a lot quicker than he would have wanted to. His hand instantly flew up to his head and he closed his eyes.

"John, calm down, breathe." The voice was soothing and fingers were gently massaging his shoulder.

When he reopened his eyes, Elizabeth was stood in front of him. Her head was bleeding and the blood had made a shaky trail down her cheek.

"We have a problem?" she said, her voice trying to force calm.

John blinked, looked confused and then turned his attention to the water now pooling at his chest and gave her a weak smile, "Does it have something to do with the fact that we're sinking?"

"I've been trying to knock the glass out of the forward portal," she said holding up a metal pipe and indicating to the barely dented glass.

"Mckay, Stackhouse?" he questioned easing himself out of his seat to stand. He stumbled a little and Elizabeth caught his elbow.

"On their way," she swallowed visibly, "We're completely submerged. Rodney says we'll have to wait for this to fill with water before we can get out."

"Equalise the pressure," he said his teeth chattering against the cold water.

John reached for her earpiece and gave it a tap. "Rodney, where are you?"

"_Good to hear……….voice Major, We……. close………… you doing?"_

"Its pretty cold in here," he said, "And I didn't bring my swim shorts."

"_Major, you know how to manually open the rear hatch. ……….. water gets to the top ……………. should be able……… open it."_

"Should," said John reaching unclasping his vest and tossing it into the water, "I don't like the sound of should." He could feel the water rising again and motivated himself to move against the stabbing pains in his chest as the cold seeped further into his body.

"_Is this a time to argue? I think….. not. It will open Major,"_ The static reached a crescendo and the radio finally went dead. "Mckay? Mckay?"

Elizabeth bit her lip and they shared a tired look.

Sheppardthrewthe earpieceinto the water to join the vest.

The water was now at John's chin and he blinked to clear his head. He was feeling tired and the water, though cold, was somehow soothing. The way that it was rhythmically lapping against the walls was relaxing and he could feel his eyelids dropping….

"John," A short slap to the side of his face and his eyes snapped open. His head dunked under the water for a moment and when he had regained his bearings he spat out a mouthful of water.

"Elizabeth." He said wiping the water out of his eyes, "What did you do that for?"

"You need to stay awake," she said. Every feature of her face etched in concern, "Please."

John guessed that he must have hit his head harder than he thought. "I'm sorry it wont happen again." He promised.

They both looked up when the hull made a loud creaking noise.

"That doesn't sound good," said John.

"Not good at all," said Elizabeth shivering from the cold.

John waded over to her and put his arm around her, pulling her up to him closely and giving her back a rub.

"How far under do you think we've submerged?" he asked into her wet hair.

It smelt like coconuts.

Elizabeth stiffened under the hold of her 2IC wondering if it was at all appropriate for the two of them to be so close, "I don't know." She answered honestly.

Another creak alerted them to the dire nature of their situation.

"We'll be fine," said John confidently. He gave her his patented smile, "I've been in worse situations."

Elizabeth suppressed a smile. John pulled back and gave her face a once over, then proceeded to use the sleeve of his wet jacket to wipe the blood off her face.

"I bet you're glad you came on this mission," he said his hand lingering on her cheek a little longer than it should have.

Elizabeth seemed to notice that fact too and pulled back farther.

John was holding onto her, she realised, protectively.

The water was rising even quicker now and John felt his feet lift off the base of the jumper as his body took over providing natural buoyancy. Elizabeth's grip on his arm tightened and as he tread water he gave her a grim smile, "Well this is lovely isn't it?" he said spitting water from his mouth.

"John," she said breathing in and out heavily.

He narrowed his eyes and moved closer to her. Their breath came out in a mist as the temperature dropped further.

"I'm terrified," she said quickly.

"I will get….us,out of here," said John as he fought to keep his head above the water, "We just need to hold on." He said, shocked at her glaring admission.

"Its freezing." She said stating the obvious.

John reached for her hands and pulled her to the rear of the puddle jumper. They both reached up for one of the racks and held on.

"The manual override is down there," said John indicating to the bottom of the ship. "Wont be a minute,"

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be long,"

He flashed her a smile, nodded and then disappeared under the water.

He was gone for what seemed like an eternity and her breath quickened with the increasing height of the water and tightening in her gut. She was scared. She had never been a great fan of water, ironic from a woman who lived in Atlantis, but she had nearly drowned when she was younger. Now that memory hit her hard and she was finding it difficult to not allow panic to turn into full blown anxiety. She tried to labour her breathing to avoid complete hyperventilation when all of a sudden, Johns head popped up from the water and he let out a little gasp, "Some kind of big fish down there," he said peering down into the water, "I swear it was wearing my vest,"

"And talking to Rodney on the radio," said Elizabeth welcoming the lighter mood.

John tore his eyes away from the big fish for a moment to explain, "Ive exposed the console, it's a simple lever." He said wiping at his face with one hand.

A bruise was beginning to develop on his cheek from his earlier fight with the console. His hand remained at his face.

"You okay?" Elizabeth shouted over the rush of water.

John didn't answer.

"John?"

He bought his hand away and shook his head, "Its nothing," but her eyes were unmoving from his face and for some reason he felt as though he couldn't lie to her. If anything, he didn't want to. "Just a bit dizzy," he said.

Elizabeth was about to say something about Beckett not making house calls, when the ship suddenly lurched and made another ominous creak.

The lights in the cabin finally flickered and went out. John and Elizabeth stared at each other, both breathing in and out in short increments, both trying to keep above the water.

"I think we've hit the bottom," said John running a hand down the length of his thigh to locate his flashlight. He bought it up and turned it on.

The hull was creaking again and the water was rising even quicker. From his position next to her John gave her free hand a quick squeeze as they moved up. Water had not near completely filled the jumper and just a tiny breathing space was left available. There lips were pressed against the ceiling, fighting to keep their heads above the water, John was holding the torch up into the minute space and it showed the full extent of the cavity.

"John," said Elizabeth suddenly. She could feel the hot sting of tears as they ran down her cheeks.

"We're……going…to be fine," he said firmly.

"John, I cant do this." She said trying to keep afloat.

"Elizabeth, I'm going to pull that lever and we're going to get out of here together," He coughed as he got a lungful of water, "Its time," his voice was strained.

Elizabeth tried to breathe in and out calmly, knowing her options were limited, "Please, just don't let go" she said.

John turned to her and their eyes connected, "Take a deep breath, breathe out on the way up" he said and the water rose to the top.

They shared another brief moment and then simultaneously took in a deep gulp of air.

They swum down to the lever and John wasted no time in pulling it. The rear hatch door separated from the ship with a hiss and John began to kick as hard as he could pulling Elizabeth with him.

The water seemed colder and much darker. Elizabeth could feel Johns hand clasped around hers, could feel herself being practically pulled to the surface.

She could feel herself going light headed as her body fought against the lack of oxygen.

Could feel her composure slipping and the panic as her heart raced in her chest and thrummed in her ears.

John was beside her, she couldn't see him, but his firm grip compelled her to keep kicking.

The darkness was all around her and she tried to stop her mouth from opening, but she couldn't and she felt her throat fill with water, just as they emerged from the lake.

John dragged her to the lake edge and she dropped down onto her back, coughing up gallons of water to her side.

John was kneeling doing the same, throwing up cold, putrid water by the lungful. He coughed a final time and crawled over to where she was lying, "Told you we'd be okay," he said, his voice sounding rather hoarse, "You okay?"

Elizabeth nodded. "You always said….you'd get us into trouble," she whispered breathlessly.

John was pressed up close to her, she could feel his hand around her waist and his lips were so close she could feel his hot breath on her. Warming her. Willing her to stay awake and alive.

Elizabeth was suddenly aware of a shadow over her head and tried to see through tired eyes the silhouette above her.

John followed her gaze and slowly raised his head, "About tim-" He stopped mid sentence and immediately felt his hip for his gun. It was gone.

He heard the clicks of ten or more safety's being disengaged, weapons being cocked and surveyed the faces that loomed down on him.

Breathing in cold ragged breaths, he wiped the water out of his eyes and shook his head, "Kolya,"

"Major Sheppard and the lovely Doctor Weir," said Kolya standing over them, hand poised overthe gunin his holster. He was scanning the lake and their surroundings for any sign of movement. "You came here with a team. How many more of you?" he asked without looking down.

John removed his hand from Elizabeth's side and placed his hands in front of him for balance.

"Just us," said John flexing his fingers and willing the circulation to return to them quicker.

"Now I know that's not true," said Kolya finally dropping his gaze. "A shame about you're ship, but I'll have somebody recover it. It may still prove useful."

"Its water logged and gene activated, but good luck." Said John blinking water out of his eyes. "And…there's a really big fish."

Elizabeth beside him was still lying on her back, looking upwards at the sky.

John knelt and licked his lips, contemplating what to do. He fixed his gaze with Kolya and for a moment he thought he saw movement behind him in the trees.

His only thought at that time was that they were outgunned and outnumbered and he needed to relay that information to his team, who were on their way. He felt at his ear for his earpiece and found it to be gone. He remembered tossing it into the water.

"What do you want Kolya?" asked John feeling water drip down his arms and hearing it splat onto the dirt, "Whatever it is. You can't have it."

Kolya didn't say anything, nor display anything of his intention. He merely gave his men a brief glance. Their eyes seemed to have a conversation though, and three of the men surrounding him started to walk off towards the trees in the direction of his men.

Elizabeth from the ground was panting hard, but still hadn't moved from her back.

John gave her a look and she nodded. With a deep intake of breath he suddenly shouted, "Rodney, Stackhouse, get out of here, our positions been compromised-" he would have finished but a boot caught him in the face and his head dropped to the sand.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone for the encouragement so far. I really appreciate it.

**A day later: Atlantis**

Rodney drained the last dredges of his coffee and slammed the cup back down onto Doctor Weir's desk. He looked up in time to see Zelenka leaning against the doorframe, arms folded at his chest.

"I see you've made yourself comfortable," he said taking the extra step into the room to stand in front of him.

Rodney rubbed at his face wearily and cleared his throat, "I'm just keeping Elizabeth's seat warm," and then casting his eyes over the gate he said, "I cannot believe she listed me as her choice for a replacement in the event of-" he paused and rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know how she does this. You know earlier I had somebody contact me asking if Atlantis had a laundry chute. A laundry chute," he said with disbelief.

Zelenka gave him a grim smile and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and was about to speak when Rodney continued.

"I mean Doctor Weir is the expedition leader of Atlantis, not the expedition leader of laundry."

"We have problem with power in sector three G," said Zelenka sighing, "But I see you are busy."

Rodney gestured at the pile of paperwork on her desk, "I thought, Id help with her reports. So when she gets back, she can relax."

"Very thoughtful," said Zelenka nodding.

"I thought so," said Rodney.

"You know, it has only been one day," said Zelenka.

"A lot can happen in one day," said Rodney rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Major Sheppard is trained for these circumstances," said Zelenka.

"Its not him I'm worried about," said Rodney picking up the empty coffee cup and holding it out to Zelenka, "Could you?"

"I'm scientist, not personal coffee maker. Go make yourself," said Zelenka throwing his hands up in the air exasperated.

"You said yourself, I'm busy." Said Rodney dejected.

"We're all busy," said Zelenka.

"But I'm the busiest. Head of Atlantis, remember?"

"And you wonder why they didn't let you go off-word with them,"

"Why? Because I didn't make my own coffee?" Rodney snorted.

Zelenka raised a quizzical eyebrow, "You are funny little man."

"They didn't let me go because the military are all hyped up glory hunters and my brilliant mind would have misplaced amongst their Neanderthal-"

They were interrupted by Sergeant Bates clearing his throat noisily and knocking on the open door, "We've received word from the off-world team," he said walking into the room. He glanced at Zelenka and then back at Rodney. "Am I interrupting something?"

Zelenka shook his head, "No, if you'll excuse me." And he left without a further word.

"Well," said Rodney motioning for Bates to continue.

"One of the teams was ambushed. Lt Blake was captured, he's assumed dead." He cleared his throat.

"Assumed dead, what are you saying?" asked Rodney nervously, "You're saying you think the Major and Doctor Weir are dead too?" he stated sinking back into his seat.

"It's a distinct possibility," said Bates

"Did they follow the men who ambushed them?" started Rodney, "Or find any evidence of their whereabouts?"

"Nothing so far, but they have recovered the wreckage of the puddle jumper."

"Well I'm glad you wasted valuable manpower retrieving that piece of water logged junk," said Rodney standing up, "Or maybe the puddle jumper will tell us where they are." He said sarcastically.

"The retrieval of the ship was necessary. If it was too fall into enemy hands then-"

"The retrieval of our leaders is far more important don't you think?" asked Rodney, "I mean, I cant run this place forever. I'm an extremely busy man. Scientific discoveries do not find themselves."

"Perhaps you should delegate this position to somebody more qualified then." Suggested Bates.

"I didn't say I wasn't qualified. I said I was busy. Two completely different things."

"Doctor Mckay, we have to proceed with caution and in this case I am more qualified to assess that we can't go to that planet, guns blazing, to rescue the Major and Doctor Weir. Not without more information"

"I knew you didn't like Major Sheppard but this takes it to a new level. You want his job don't you?" said Rodney narrowing his eyes. "Don't think this will go unnoticed."

Bates didn't answer but Rodney knew the answer already.

"We should never have left them behind."

"Stackhouse made the right decision," said Bates jumping in, "If you had all been captured we wouldn't even know where to start looking. We haven't given up hope of finding them."

They had arrived just in time to hear Johns cried for them to leave.

Stackhouse had taken the cries as a direct order by his CO and had forced them back to the gate, despite furious protests from both Ford and himself.

"I still say it was the wrong decision," Rodney muttered.

"Doctor Mckay why don't you get some sleep, we'll call you if we hear anything more."

"Sleep at a time like this?" Rodney snorted, "Just find them," he said sitting down in Elizabeth's chair.

Bates stood for a moment as if perhaps trying to think of something else to say. Perhaps he was going to defend the earlier slur against his character. Rodney wouldn't give him that chance and looked up before saying, "Close the door to my Office as you leave."

---------------

The slap to his face, the motion of being moved into an uncomfortable position, restraints at his wrists and the hard floor on his knees bought John to a swift consciousness.

His eyes jerked open and he hissed when he sucked in his breath too hard. He felt himself choking on the air he so desperately needed and coughed until his throat was raw.

John took a moment to scan the room. It was dark and smelt overpoweringly damp. He was in stone walled room and at current he was kneeling in the centre of the room, his hands bound tightly behind his back.

"Glad you could join us," said Kolya crouching down in front of him.

John could feel his aching body tremble. He was still wearing his wet t-shirt and it clung to his body tightly. In a word, he was freezing. Not only that but to add insult to injury he could feel the gritty sand which had become lodged in the waistband of his pants and clung uncomfortably to his back.

"You should have killed me when you had the chance," said Kolya rubbing his hands together. John thought perhaps he was rubbing sand off them.

John gave him a look and nodded, "I'm starting to think the same thing."

A swift punch to his ribs and John found himself leaning to the side and being gripped firmly to right him again. His heart tested the construction of his ribs and with every beat a sharp pain stabbed at his side.

"Where's Elizabeth?" asked John as an expression of pain flashed across his features.

"Not Doctor Weir?" asked Kolya, "Elizabeth?"

John took a deep breath in and tried again, "Where….is…she?"

"I thought your relationship was purely professional," said Kolya, "Perhaps I was wrong."

"Where is she?" asked John through the throbbing pain that lanced through his insides.

"She's enjoying the hospitalities we have to offer here," said Kolya standing up, "Don't worry about her."

"If you touch her," said John raising his eyes to Kolya's, "I will kill you." Just like I killed your company of men." He added as an afterthought.

The kick to his side connected with such force John could feel the white hot pain burn and surge through his gut and he felt the acid rise at the back of his throat. He wouldn't cry out though and instead straightened up again and stared straight forward, "I see I hit a nerve," he said through clenched teeth.

Another slap across his face and stars danced in front of his eyes, threatening to send him to the ground.

"Sixty men was it? Or more." said John.

"You will repay me for that." Spat Kolya smoothing down his uniform.

"You're military Kolya. Men die in war. You placed that cost on their heads."

"It wasn't a war," snapped Kolya.

"You tried to take over my city," said John licking blood off his lips.

"Enough," said Kolya holding up an unsteady hand, "Enough," he repeated a little calmer.

"Besides revenge, what do you want with us?"

"I have plans for you."

John breathed in a ragged breath, "The worst you can do is kill me." He said readjusting his position on the floor. Already his knees were protesting.

"Oh I can do much worse than that." said Kolya.

"Yeah, you could talk me to death."

John gritted his teeth and twisted his hands in his restraints trying to find a bit of give.

Kolya knelt down in front of him again and this time reached back, grabbed John by the hair and pulled his head backwards, "Atlantis," he said pulling back harder.

John felt the muscles in his neck throb at the awkward position and he struggled to swallow.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you have some hostility issues," said John readjusting his position on the floor.

"Atlantis. It's important," he said into John's ear, "Why?"

"Ah Kolya, I had you pegged as a smarter man," rasped John, "You know i'd never tell you anything."

"You fought hard to protect it."

"In case you hadn't noticed. We live there." said John, "No Atlantis, no home."

"Where did you all come from?"

"Go…..screw yourself," said John.

Kolya released his grip, stood and kicked John forward at his shoulder. John hissed as his face hit the concrete hard and he bit through his lip.

"I can keep doing this all day," said Kolya placing a well placed foot on his shoulder.

"So can I," said John.

Kolya stared at him for a moment, as if deciding whether or not the man in front of him could indeed be broken.

At current that seemed debateable, but he didn't need him to talk. He just needed him as an instrument in a larger design.

John lay breathlessly on the floor waiting for Kolya to make his next move. He wished he was alone here, but knowing that Elizabeth was close by didn't make this any easier. It was a distinct possibility that she would be used against him, perhaps to talk or perhaps for revenge for his past misdemeanours, either way when it came to Elizabeth he wasn't so sure he could sacrifice her life for the good of Atlantis.

Kolya perhaps being aware of that fact suddenly stiffened and started to smooth down his uniform, "I'm going to pay Doctor Weir a little visit. But you stay right there. I'll be back."

"Kolya!"" John shouted from the floor, his ribs digging into his side, "Kolya!"

---------

Elizabeth leant her head against the stone cold wall and closed her eyes. She had been bought here hours ago, separated from Sheppard and bound by the wrists. Attempts to release herself proved futile and shouting had only given her a sore throat.

Now after pacing the dark cell, she had settled down onto the floor and was trying to remember how the last book she read ended. An inconsequential thing, but she couldn't remember and it disturbed her.

Possibly the last few hours of her life and she couldn't even remember something as simple as that.

Boots outside her door woke her from her thoughts and she at up straighter as the door was unlocked.

Kolya stood at the doorway, peered inside, and on seeing Elizabeth smiled, "Comfortable?" he asked.

Elizabeth schooled her face to look as neutral as possible. "Kolya." She said hesitantly, "Where is Major Sheppard?"

Kolya didn't comment on her use of Major Sheppard, and in turn Sheppard's use of Elizabeth. Instead he walked over to her and took out a hip flask of water, "Major Sheppard is fine." He said first untying her restraints.

Elizabeth reluctantly accepted the canister and sniffed it before taking a sip. A cry echoed down the corridor followed by the sound of something dropping to the ground and she stiffened.

Kolya took the water off her and screwed the cap back on, "That's nothing to worry about." He said quickly before standing up.

"What are you doing to him?" asked Elizabeth. She hesitantly started to stand up. She was surprised when nobody stopped her.

Kolya smiled, "Major Sheppard insists that he can handle anything that's thrown at him." He paused, "I'm just testing that theory."

"What do you want with us?" asked Elizabeth. She took a step forward, "We're both diplomats. I'm sure we could arrange some kind of-"

"Diplomat?" questioned Kolya bridging the gap between them and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Doctor Weir, I'm a mercenary and you, you're in over your head."

Elizabeth bit her bottom lip and let out a shaky breath, "We all want the same thing. The wraith wiped out."

"That's true." Kolya ran his hand down the length of her arm and lingered at her hand. She pulled away quickly and watched the flash of anger in his eyes. "But the Genii work alone."

"We have nothing to offer you." said Elizabeth rubbing her arm where he had touched her.

"You have much to offer us," said Kolya, "Perhaps an alternative planet?" he questioned.

Elizabeth didn't flinch. "But I can see that you wont give us what we want."

"So what," said Elizabeth, "You'll settle for revenge. You won't get close enough to Atlantis to inflict any kind of revenge Kolya."

"Strong words," said Kolya and he bought a hand up to sweep a piece of hair out of her eye, "I'm impressed."

There were sounds of muffled cries and thuds in the background, "What is that?" she asked fearing the answer. "If you hurt him-" she began.

Kolya took a step backwards towards the door, "Your concern for Major Sheppard's welfare is touching. I'd sit tight for now"

TBC

Duh duh duh please read on……….


	4. Chapter 4

I'm getting all excited by the number of reviews I'm getting so far (Jumps up and down and squees!) I congratulate you all on your continual motivational support! Keep up the good work and my fingers will keep a typin!

----------

When John came to consciousness his first awareness was the sensation of fingers running through his hair, and he was pretty sure it wasn't Kolya.

Either that or his torture techniques were a tad unconventional.

More worryingly was if it _was_ Kolya, he was enjoying the whole sensation way too much.

Before opening his eyes John let his mind drift over the events of the past few days. He couldn't remember how long he had been here and his watch had been smashed in the second pounding, yesterday. Kolya had been prolific in his beatings; however, he knew exactly how to keep John down without causing serious injury.

John didn't know how exactly he figured in Kolya's great master plan, but he relished in dropping in little hints and cryptic information about his apparent future use.

For the moment, it seemed Kolya was just happy to use John as a punch bag.

His body ached in ways he didn't know existed. Kolya had centralised most of the blows to his stomach, but occasionally mixed it up by giving him a good kick in the leg or a stamp on his shoulder.

John wasn't a vain man, but thankfully, Kolya had laid off his face.

Finally, John dragged his eyes open and cast a weary glance upwards. He realised very quickly that his head was lying in the lap of Doctor Elizabeth Weir. She yet to realise his new found consciousness was still absent-mindedly running her hands through his hair and staring off into the corner.

John stared up at her for a moment. He realised that this was the first time, he had witnessed vulnerability in those eyes.

Elizabeth often wore a mask of seriousness on completing her work, very rarely giving them a glimpse into the feelings that lay beyond. Oh, she worried about them whilst they were away, and he saw the looks of marked relief when they came through after a near miss mission, but this was different.

Elizabeth wasn't in Atlantis anymore and she looked completely alien to it.

"Hey," he said eventually grimacing when he heard the hoarseness of his voice.

Elizabeth looked down at him and took her hands out of his hair at once, "Hey," she said back.

"How long have I been out?" he asked feeling pins and needles creep up his back.

"Long enough," she said looking down at him and wiped her hair out of her eyes. John noticed the bruise on her hands and reached up to grab it.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked inspecting the grazes. She pulled it back quickly and placed it out of sight.

"That was me," she said as a look of embarrassment flashed across her features, "I was banging on the door so hard I didn't notice." Then averting his gaze she said, "I could hear-I thought they were going to kill you."

John took this as his cue to get up and very slowly eased himself up.

After a minute he struggled into a sitting position beside her and panting and sweating hard he said, "See I'm fine."

She gave him a look up and down and shook her head, "Can you take another beating from them?"

He licked at his lip, tasted blood and took a moment to scan the cell.

"John?"

He sighed, "I can if it convinces Kolya we wont take any shit from him." He took in a deep breath, "Anyway, I'd be dead already if he wanted to. He needs us for something."

Elizabeth was rubbing at the grime on her hands and arms, "For what?"

"I don't know. He's reluctant to tell me his master plan."

"But he does have a plan," said Elizabeth, "That cant be good."

"How long have we been here?" said John shifting his position against the wall and resting his head back onto it, "Two, three?"

"It's so dark I can't tell,"

"That's because we're underground," said John cracking one of his eyes open.

"How can you tell that?"

"Damp seeping in from the ceiling in the other room. No natural light anywhere. These guys work like this, under the surface." He tentatively worked a hand up his chest and pressed. _Yikes, definitely a cracked rib there. Better stop poking it._ "Stackhouse would have heard us, or at least our disappearance would have alerted them to our possible duress," he said shifting again, "I'm sure they'll find us."

Elizabeth pushed herself off the wall and moved to sit closer to John. She placed a hand on his forehead, "And if they don't?" She continued to run her hands over his face and down his arms and chest.

"Then at the first opportunity I will get us out of here." He opened his eyes and gave her a look of puzzlement, "What are you doing?"

"Checking you for injuries."

"Without my consent?" said John shifting, "Feel like I'm being abused."

"You keep hitching your breathing. You were doing it when you were unconscious, I think you have a cracked rib or-"

John bought his hands up and stilled Elizabeth's hands, holding them in his before saying, "I'm not going to leave you here."

"If they keep beating you, you will."

John squeezed the hands tighter, "I do have a cracked rib. But that's it. Not broken. I'm not going to die on you." He coughed and winced, "If I die of anything. It will be pneumonia from that ice cold lake." He forced a smile.

"I've never been in a situation like this before," she admitted releasing her hands from Johns and wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Well lucky I have," said John coughing again into his fist. "Kolya won't kill us. At least not yet. Until he's satisfied that he's had revenge he'll keep doing this. Which in a twisted way means we have time." He coughed again, "We just have to stay strong. What?" he asked on noticing Elizabeth looking at him. "I'm fine, trust me." He smiled and Elizabeth returned it, deciding not to mention the blood colouring his lips.

"I wonder how Atlantis is?" asked Elizabeth rubbing her arms to warm herself up and to keep from staring at the blood.

"I'm sure its fine," said John, his eyes slipping closed again.

"I just hope Rodney isn't panicking,"

"Rodney," John snorted which forced him into a coughing fit, "You left Rodney in charge. In that case, I should say Atlantis is lost to us now."

Elizabeth shot him a glare, but couldn't hold it and felt her lips curve into a smile, "I figured in the absence of you and I, Rodney would be the perfect candidate. He knows Atlantis better than anybody. He has a strong mind, he can speak to a crowd-"

"-And send them to sleep."

"Admit it. Rodney is the only choice."

John resigned to the fact the Elizabeth was right nodded.

"I'm surprised you didn't know. Didn't you ever read my mission statement? It clearly outlined the protocol for this type of situation and I named Rodney first and foremost."

"Oh that, yeah," he said with a wave of his hand.

"It's in your office isn't it?" she asked, "One of those things alongside 'War and Peace', you'll never read." She sighed.

His obvious reluctance to read her report displayed offence to her she didn't even know she felt.

"Office?" said John, his eyes snapping open, "I knew I forgot to assign myself an office in the first week." He gave Elizabeth a sly smile.

Elizabeth continued to rub at her arms.

"You cold?"

"You're not?" questioned Elizabeth turning to John.

He simply shrugged and Elizabeth bought a hand up to his forehead again, "You're really hot," she said flicking her eyes at his.

"Why thank you," said John letting his eyes fall closed again.

"John, this is serious. You're burning up?"

"Perhaps it's the threat of being burned at the stake," said John, his eyes opening to slits.

"I knew Beckett called you a pain in the ass patient for a reason. Come on, let me help you get out of this jacket."

Elizabeth shook her head and proceeded to help him out of his jacket. She used it as a pillow and put it behind his head, but before she could sit back down he had removed it and was passing it to her, "Use it to sit on. These floors don't make great furniture." He very slowly started to push himself into a standing position.

"What are you doing?" asked Elizabeth in a tone similar to that of a mother scolding a child.

"Just stretching my legs," he said hunched slightly but able to stand without too much trouble, "If I sit for too long I may never get back up," He caught Elizabeth's worried look and bought a calming hand up, "My ass is going to sleep." He admitted.

There were sounds of movement out in the corridor and John shuffled over to the door and peered through the bars, "You hear that?" he asked visibly stiffening, "Someone's coming."

He took a step back just as the door was near kicked open and Kolya was stood in front of him.

"You enjoying yourselves:" asked Kolya smiling.

"A bit sparse in here," said John, "But then not everyone's a fan of the minimalist look."

Kolya strode up to him and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, forcing John to straighten his back and pull his wounded muscles. John hissed but didn't say a word. "You're coming with me," he said and John was shoved out of the room as men grabbed Elizabeth to follow behind.

-----------------

They were pushed and prodded up through a sloped walkway which led to the outside.

It was raining and the ground was slick with puddles and sticky mud. John was pushed forward and down onto his knees. Elizabeth was pushed down beside him shortly after and they shared a confused glance through the rain.

It was coming down in sheets and John could feel it slide down his face, making a waterfall of his features.

It was only after a few minutes of blinking water out of his eyes that he spied a figure in front of them. He was tied up to a wooden stake in the ground, wrists bound above his head, curled up tightly against the assaulting weather.

"What's going on?" shouted John over the thunder which rolled above.

Kolya walked over to the figure and gave them a sharp slap to the back of the head which sent them suddenly into pained animation.

John nearly choked when he recognised the boy through his dirt smudged features. It was Lt Blake, one of the younger of his recruits. He was inexperienced at best and his eyes held a look of absolute terror.

Elizabeth was slow to come to realisation but after a moment, despite the water battering his ears, John heard her gasp.

"You know Lt Blake," said Kolya.

John gritted his teeth and went to stand but two sets of hands pushed down on his shoulders to keep him in place. Kolya ordered some of his men to untie Blake from the post and then they set him down in front of them. One guy holding the kid down, the other holding a knife to his throat.

"Let him go," said John fighting the urge to tear out Kolya's throat.

"He doesn't need to be involved," said Elizabeth suddenly finding her voice.

"Blake's life here depends on your level of cooperation. This is your last chance," said Kolya.

John cast his eyes down and watched as the rain hit the ground with unrelenting force. He was in a no win situation. Either way there would be blood on the ground. _This_ ground.

"Major Sheppard," inquired Kolya. "He dies if you don't talk"

John clenched his jaw until he felt his temples start to throb. It was a welcome distraction from the muffled straining that came from the figure in front of him.

"Where is this planet you came from?" The question was shouted over another loud clap of thunder and lightening.

John kept staring at the ground. He could feel Elizabeth's eyes boring into him, willing him to do something but he had been in situations like this before. She couldn't possible understand his reasoning and she wouldn't understand how he could, and inevitably _would,_ let Blake die.

Similar situations had arisen before and they always ended the same.

The message was clear to terrorists and mercenaries; information is power and it dies rather than landing in their hands.

"I know you arrived at Atlantis through the stargate."

"You don't know anything," said John still not bringing his eyes up.

Kolya all of sudden wrenched Johns head up to look forward and John closed his eyes.

"Please Sir?" Blake was saying all of a sudden.

John's eyes went wide in horror and as their eyes fixed through the rain he could see that Blake was struggling, in all likelihood crying.

John swallowed back the bile.

"I'm not lying," shouted Kolya forcing John to look at Blake when he started to turn away again.

"I know," said John.

"John," he heard Elizabeth from beside him.

"Lt Blake your service to Atlantis won't go unnoticed," he said forcing the words through the haze in his head.

"Sir please, I don't wanna die! I didn't say a thing. I didn't tell them anything I promise!" Blake was screaming.

"Blake, you're a member of the United States Air Force. They don't make many like us." He said feeling hollow as he spoke the necessary words, "And you know full well what that pledge of allegiance to our country means. It means we die if necessary." He watched Blake's face and finally looked up at Kolya. "Don't do this"

"You can stop this!"

"You know full well I can't. You know what's at stake for us," John shook his head, "He's just a kid" he raged over the rain.

"So was my friends son when you cut his life short," shouted Kolya.

"That was self preservation. This is murder!"

"John, please."

"Elizabeth," warned John turning to her, "Trust me on this. He'll kill him anyway. Whatever we say."

His captor finally grew sick of this game, "You going to talk?" he asked hissing the words into Johns ear.

Breaking his eye contact from Blake he looked up and quietly said, "No" but turned his head to Blake and said, "I'm sorry".

"No, no please I'll tell you something," shouted Elizabeth suddenly.

"Elizabeth," said John calmly. Their eyes met for a moment and she could see his strong resolve.

Hers however, was fading.

She couldn't sit and watch as a member of her expeditions short life was cut even shorter. She couldn't live with herself knowing she just watched from the sidelines.

Kolya bought up his hand and released John, pushing him back into the mud. He bent down in front of Elizabeth, "I'm listening."

"Earth," she said, "Our planet its called earth."

Kolya turned to John who was getting back into his kneeling position, "Earth," he repeated.

"But you couldn't go there if you wanted to. It's in another galaxy and we have no power to get there," she said.

"You managed to get here," he stated.

"We depleted our only source getting out here. It was a one way trip. And even if you managed to gate through there's a shield on the other side just like ours," She paused and then gave John a look which spoke volumes.

"Elizabeth," John said, "Don't tell him anymore."

Kolya turned to him and raised his fist but he didn't strike out. Instead he seemed to calm and turned back to Elizabeth.

"I don't believe you," said Koyla shaking his head.

"Wouldn't we be home if we could," she shouted, feeling water spill into her mouth as the rain changed directions. "With the threat of the wraith, don't you think we would have left?"

"I believe your stubborn and greedy people," said Kolya. "That you would keep both Atlantis to yourselves _and_ a route to your earth."

"She's telling the truth," said John in support, "We can't go home. So _you _can't either."

Kolya looked thoughtful and worked his jaw.

"Let Blake go," said John, "Your issue isn't with him."

Kolya was silent for what seemed like an eternity and they all waited whilst the rain continued it's decent.

"Kill him," he said finally.

"No!" cried out Elizabeth and she let the tears she had held at bay fall.

"Kolya!" shouted John as a hand was clamped over his mouth and his head was kept firmly in place.

He watched in utter helplessness as Blake's throat was cut. His cries were muffled through the hand as he felt his composure wane and his chest flare up with untold intensity.

Blake's eyes went wide and his hands flew up to his neck to quell the blood.

John managed to free himself long enough to run over to his flailing body and he too placed his hands over the gash in his neck with little effect.

The warm blood spilt through his fingers as he looked at Blake.

"Shit," he ripped the bottom of his t-shirt and put the material over the wound.

Blake's eyes looked up at him.

"You did good," he said.

Blake twisted under his grip and attempted to talk but the noise was contorted and gargled.

"Don't talk," he said feeling the material soak through with his blood.

He felt the young inexperienced soldier buck under his grip through to his final death throw in which he suddenly stilled. John kept his hand in place for a few moments and watched as the rain washed the blood off his hands quickly.

Erasing the blood, but not erasing the memory.

Breathing in heavily he felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice close to his ear, "You could have prevented that."

John spun around and grabbed Kolya by the throat, "You would have done that either way just for the hell of it," he said feeling hands push him to the floor. "You didn't have to do that,"

"You weren't going to talk," said Kolya looking up at the sky, "You bought this on yourself."

John looked up to see Elizabeth was sobbing.

"Take them inside. It's time" said Kolya looking down at the body of Blake.

"Time for what?" asked John as he was pulled from the floor and pushed towards the entrance to the underground base, "Time for what?" he shouted. His voice echoed and was replied by a crack of thunder.

"Sorry kid," said Kolya to Blake's body, "But desperate times called for desperate measures." And he followed the others indoors.

TBC

Sorry bit grim there……………..

Sorry I'm all about the cliff-hangers at the mo. But at least you know I post with regularity so you won't have to wait long for more instalments. Home soon for the two, but you know that cant be the end of it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Four days later: Atlantis.**

Rodney awoke with a start and knocked his mug of coffee to the floor with a loud clatter. He had reached forward just in time to watch the contents spill onto the floor and momentarily rested his head against the desk to clear the cobwebs from his mind.

Finally, he was aware of the source of his headache. Atlantis' gate activation alarm was blaring in the background and he jumped up from behind Elizabeth's desk and raced through to the command centre practically tripping over his own feet.

Grodin's hand was hovering over the gate shield controls and Rodney barged past Ford and Teyla and plonked himself down in front of his laptop.

"Anything?" asked Ford expectantly. He was bounding up and down on his heels and seemed to move with nervous energy. Teyla beside him flashed him a look which conveyed the message to not get his hopes up.

"Nothing yet," said Rodney, his voice flat, his face neutral.

John and Elizabeth had been missing for four days. Searches of the planet had revealed nothing and bad weather had twice forced recovery teams to return.

Rodney glanced at his team mates and shrugged, "It might not be them," he said rubbing at his eyes, "We shouldn't get our hopes up," he said swallowing hard and wishing he hadn't knocked that last cup of coffee over.

"Anything?" asked Aiden again.

"Are you stuck on repeat?" asked Rodney looking up at him, "You just asked me that."

He stared at the screen and eventually an identification code flashed up.

"Major Lorne, what's-?" asked Rodney.

"What's your status?" said Bates stepping up behind Rodney.

Rodney sighed, "Yes, what's your status?" He gave Bates a patented glare. "Have you forgotten who's in command?"

"By default," said Bates sneering.

"Doctor Mckay, we have recovered Major Sheppard and Doctor Weir," There was a brief pause, "And Lt Blake."

Rodney turned to Aiden and smiled, "Grodin lower the shield. Major Lorne good work. You have permission to step through." he said and then turning to Bates he said, "I guess the job vacancy isn't open any more" and he started to descend the steps to the gate.

Aiden's hand held him back and firmly gripped him, "You should expect the worst," he said.

Rodney shrugged him off and twisted from his grip.

There was a tense atmosphere in the room as everybody held their breath.

Nobody took their eyes of the gate and they waited until finally Lorne's team stepped through, letting out a collective breath.

Rodney thought he could hear gasps behind him but daren't look back. He was drawn to the scene before him.

John was stepping through the gate, an unconscious Elizabeth in his arms and two soldiers had Lt Blake between them.

They carefully laid him down onto the floor, the gate shut down and there was an eerie silence that filled the room.

"Sir, perhaps you should put Doctor Weir down." One of officers was saying as Rodney radioed for Carson.

John seemed reluctant to let go of her and seemed to look down at her face before grudgingly handing the woman over to one of the soldiers.

The officer took off his jacket and laid it under Elizabeth's head.

The other officer grabbed John by the elbow when he started swaying, but John wrenched his arm free and muttered something about not needing to be escorted.

Rodney made sure that Elizabeth was okay and then walked over to the figure standing stiffly beside her prone body.

"Major Sheppard," said Rodney as he approached the man he barely recognised before him.

Rodney noticed his team mates unkempt appearance. His usual hairstyle was flat and matted with dirt, his face was smeared with blood, dirt and intermittently dotted with cuts and bruises. His uniform was damp and shredded.

"Major, Good to have you back," said Aiden joining them and patting John on the shoulder.

He didn't answer. He didn't acknowledge them. His eyes were drawn down to the floor and when Rodney followed his gaze he could see what he was transfixed on.

Lt Blake, whom Rodney had assumed was merely injured, was dead.

He had missed the slit across his throat on first glance, but now he could see the object of John's obvious horror. The young mans eyes were still open and staring upward, but life no longer resided there.

"Oh my god," he said before he could stop himself. Aiden pulled off his jacket and laid it down over Blake's torso.

"Michael Blake," John all of a sudden whispered, but Rodney could barely hear him.

"What?"

"Michael Blake, I think he has family in Kansas. He mentioned a sister in New York once," said John bringing his hands up to his face and rubbing at his eyes, "Or maybe it was a cousin. I can't remember if it was his sister or his cousin who lived in New York."

"We'll find out," said Rodney.

Bates glanced down at the body on the floor before stepping up to John and standing stiffly, "Sir."

John looked at him, blinked and then looked past him to Blake again.

"What happened out there?" he asked.

Rodney grabbed Bates by the arm and turned him around, "What the hell are you doing?"

"They were captured. I need to know if Atlantis has been compromised," said Bates turning back to John, "Sir?"

"There is plenty of time to answer questions. Cant you see he's not well," said Rodney.

Aiden stepped forward, "I think maybe you should wait."

Bates clenched his jaw and reluctantly took a step back, ensuring them that he would ask again as soon as the Major was fit enough.

"Idiot," Rodney muttered as he shared a worried glance with Aiden.

Rodney was bought to attention by Johns sudden swaying and as he pitched forward he reached out to grab his friend before he fell. He only succeeded in grabbing his t-shirt and pulling on the material.

John sank to his knees and bought a hand up his side whilst he coughed.

Rodney knelt down beside him and gave Elizabeth a cursory look before patting John on the back. "You're back Major," he said feeling at a loss for anything more useful to say.

John bought a shaky hand up to his mouth and continued to stare at the body before him. "It's my fault." He said lowering his head and closing his eyes against a wave of nausea. He coughed again and this time Rodney noticed a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth.

"Don't talk," said Rodney,

"I wouldn't talk," said John coughing more forcibly this time into his hand. Rodney watched as his condition seemed to disintegrate before him. He was sagging backwards and Rodney kept his hand firmly on his shoulder before he could fall.

He scanned the room and saw that staff were watching the spectacle in awe.

"Don't you people have work to do?" he shouted.

Carson ran into the gate room with a full medical team in tow and instructed Rodney to move out of his way as he carried out his diagnosis.

"I need someone to check on the Lt," he shouted to one of his staff.

One of the Doctors knelt down next to Blake but before his hands even touched the man Rodney was pushing him out of the way, "Leave this one," he said.

Carson knew what that meant and knelt in front of John. He lifted his shirt and stethoscope in hand listened to his breathing. "What have you been up to now?" said Carson listening intently.

John pushed him away, "No not me. Check Elizabeth."

Carson looked over to Elizabeth where another member of his medical team were examining her. He gave him a nod to indicate she was okay. "Major, Doctor Weir is being taken care of. I need you to sit still whilst i-" his words were cut short when John started to breath in heavily.

"He's got decreased breathe sounds on the right side. We need to get him to the infirmary now." John coughed into his hand again. Before he could lower it Carson grabbed him by the wrist and indicated to Rodney. There was blood in his hands.

-------------

"What do you think happened out there?" asked Aiden from his position, leaning against the corridor outside the infirmary, "I've never seen the Major look so….." He couldn't find the words.

"Whatever happened it was obviously bad," said Teyla looking towards the door hopefully.

Rodney snorted, "Bad doesn't cover it." He paced back and forth nervously drumming his fingers on his thigh and stopping now and again to peer into the infirmary, "We took too long to find them," he stated.

"They are home now. That is all that matters," said Teyla placing a reassuring hand on Rodney's.

He looked down at her hand for a moment and realised that the feeling was foreign to him. Human contact was not a necessity for him, but this felt different. "That's another thing," he said putting a finger up, "Why were they let go?" He paced.

"If you keep doing that you'll wear a whole in the floor," said Aiden.

"Did you see Lt Blake's throat?" asked Rodney paling.

Aiden nodded, "He was a year younger than me," he said wringing his hands together.

"Yeah something bad happened alright."

Rodney suddenly stopped dead still when he noticed Carson walk out of the infirmary and gesture for them to come over to him. He looked tired and as they approached him he leaned against the doorframe and shoved his hands intro the pockets of his white coat.

"Are they okay?" asked Rodney.

Carson surveyed the faces of the three people stood in front of them. They hadn't moved from outside his infirmary for four hours.

"Doctor Weir is exhausted and dehydrated," he said grimly, "She just needs some rest."

"And Major Sheppard?"

"He had some internal bleeding."

"Bad?" asked Teyla.

Carson shook his head, "I've got him stabilised."

"So he'll be okay?" asked Aiden.

"Other than that he has superficial injuries which all the while will still take some time to heal. Some buggers given him a good beating."

He cleared his throat.

"What is it?" asked Rodney on seeing the Doctors nervousness.

"They both have puncture marks on the inside of their arms which I suspect means they were drugged. We won't know for certain until they wake up."

--------------

Elizabeth opened her eyes and relished in the feeling of the warm pillow and blankets cocooning her. She wanted nothing more than to stay here forever. She could run Atlantis from the comfort of this bed.

She looked to her left to see John fast asleep. He was lying on his back, breathing mask securely over his face, one hand across his stomach, the other dangling over the bed. She wanted to be close enough to squeeze it. To make sure he was real.

This was the second time she had woken today. The first time she had woken to the sounds of medical staff attending to John as he had trouble breathing. They fixed eyes for a second but then she lost him to heavy sedation. Carson had told her not to worry and to get some rest.

"_Can I see her?"_

"_Rodney, I told you to get some sleep."_

"_Carson, I don't need sleep. I'm fine….ow….."_ Elizabeth winced as she heard the muttered curses coming from Rodney as he had quite evidently injured himself.

"_Clumsiness is a sign of sleep deprivation."_ Said Carson calmly, _"No wonder you stubbed your toe."_

Elizabeth finally turned her head to see the two men looking at her guiltily.

"Oh, did we wake you Doctor?" asked Carson walking over to the bed and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No," said Elizabeth attempting to sit.

"Elizabeth," said Rodney sitting on the edge of the bed, "How are you feeling?"

She thought about that question for a moment. How was she feeling? She honestly didn't know. She had been incarcerated, watched a good friend be tortured, watched a young Lt die. "Strange," she said after a moment. "How did we get back here?"

Rodney and Carson exchanged a confused glance.

"You don't remember?" said Carson reaching for his penlight.

Elizabeth shirked away before he could shine the light in her eye, "No,"

"What's the last thing you remember?" asked Carson.

"Kolya, he had Lt Blake killed." The words stuck in her throat and she felt her eyes water. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and cast her eyes down to her hands.

"Kolya?" said Rodney suddenly jumping off the bed.

"He's the one who shot us down," she said looking over to John, "He tortured……..we wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know so….." She rubbed at a tear as it made its escape. "How is John?"

"He's settled for now. We managed to repair the internal bleeding."

"Cracked rib?" she questioned as Carson passed her a glass of water.

"Aye,"

"I knew it was worse than he was telling me," she said languishing in the coolness of the water on her sore throat.

"I just wish I could remember," she said rubbing at her temples.

"Its okay," said Carson soothingly, "You don't have to talk about this now."

"It was raining," she said, "And we were taken inside." She stopped, "What happened?"

"Elizabeth, I noticed that both you and Major Sheppard have puncture marks on the inside of your arms. Is it possible you were drugged?"

She looked down and saw at the crook of her arm an angry purple welt. She rubbed at it for a moment and shook her head, "I can't remember that?"

"We can't understand why he let you," said Rodney taking the water off her.

"Perhaps he was satisfied with his level of revenge," she said, "The image of Lt Blake will stay for me for a very long time."

"Sheppard should have shot him when he had the chance," said Rodney.

"Don't you think John has enough blood on his hands?" asked Elizabeth sinking back into the pillow.

"Don't worry about it now" said Carson, "Let me give you something to help you sleep."

"No," said Elizabeth, "No I don't want to sleep right now. Rodney, uh…tell me how my city is?"

"Elizabeth I highly recommend you get some rest," said Carson

"Okay, but let me just stay up for a few minutes?" She gave Carson a pleading look and he nodded before disappearing to get her some sedatives.

"Well Rodney?"

"Its all running smoothly, right down to the laundry." He said, "I have some ideas I thought you might want to consider."

Elizabeth nodded, but she wasn't listening. Her mind was replaying the last few moments of Blake's life.

"Don't you think?"

"Huh?"

"Elizabeth, let Carson give you something now. This can wait."

She nodded.

---------

Elizabeth waited until the lights to the infirmary had been turned off and then very slowly peeled back the covers to her bed and awkwardly stepped onto the floor.

She refrained from letting out a hiss of shock as her bare feet connected with the freezing cold floor. She took a moment to flex her toes and pull the gown around her protruding posterior before she shuffled over to John's bed. There wasn't anyone around but still she didn't want word getting out about the half moon birthmark on her right butt cheek.

Nervously she bought a hand up and placed her index fingers on the inside of his wrist. She waited and then smiled when she felt the steady pulse.

"You have cold fingers," the muffled mumble came from under the mask and Elizabeth looked up at John.

He fumbled with the cumbersome mask and managed to pull it down to his chin, "Checking I'm still alive again." He said blinking a few times.

"Hey," she said smiling and she felt his fingers curl around hers and give them a squeeze, "How are you feeling?"

He seemed to think about it for a moment before answering, "Good,"

"Liar," she said giving him a gentle prod.

"Should you be up?" he asked.

"Probably not," she said drinking in his features. He looked younger than he usually did. She decided it was probably his current vulnerability which eluded her to this conclusion.

"I told you we'd be fine," he said whispering.

"John. I cant remember anything after-" She waited for him to pick up where she left off but noticed his eyes were already sliding closed.

She let go off his hand and placed it back onto the bed. But as she turned to leave she heard him readjust his position in the bed and say, "I can't remember much either,"

Without turning she said, "Something happened?"

"I know."

"Why did he let us go?" she said turning back to him.

He had propped himself up onto his elbow. "I don't know," he stated.

"Beckett says we were drugged," she rubbed at the mark on her arm and she noticed John search his own arm for one before lying back down and breathing heavily.

"I've heard of drugs being used so you're not aware of your surroundings. Maybe he didn't want us to find his base again?"

"I just can't understand why he didn't kill us," Elizabeth said placing the mask back over his face.

He attempted to pull it back up but his eyes were closing, "He doesn't work like that," he slurred, "Deaths too kind."

Elizabeth stood over him for a moment and waited until he had drifted back into sleep. She looked down and realised yet again their hands had found each other. She had barely noticed him interlinking his fingers with hers before slipping off. She smiled, separated from him and laid his hand back on the bed carefully before sneaking back into her own bed.

TBC

_More to come, more angst, more plot, just more so keep reading _


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all of the continued reviews. When you have so many positive comments it really spurs you on to write more.

---------

"Carson I feel fine," said Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth I'll decide if you're fine or not," he said crossing his arms across his chest.

A few days ago she had managed to persuade Carson to allow her to wear her black tracksuit bottoms and a t shirt instead of the obligatory gowns. Now, she was pushing him further.

"You're still not recovered," said Carson.

"I'll rest in my room," she said perched on the edge of the bed, "Really, I'll rest."

At that point Rodney walked into the room and eyed the two suspiciously, "I'm sure Rodney can hold the fort for a while longer."

Rodney narrowed his eyes, "What's going on?"

"Elizabeth is trying to escape," said John from across the room.

Rodney noticed how flat he sounded.

He was sat upright in his bed, still attached to a nasal canular and pushing the food on the tray in front of him around with his fork.

Carson sighed, "Okay. You can go. But I want you to come back for regular check ups and I'm not letting you back on full duty until you talk to Heightmeyer."

Elizabeth smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

"And the same goes for you," said Carson turning to John.

"What I can go?" asked John smiling.

Carson sighed, "Major," he warned. "I want you to talk to Kate about Lt Blake."

John continued to stare down at his food and held a hand up dismissively.

"Perhaps you can get him to talk about it?" said Carson more quietly to Rodney and he left to escort Elizabeth to her room.

"So how're you feeling?" asked Rodney as he approached Johns bed.

He looked up and gave him a weak smile. He was a lot paler than he usually was and his hair was distinctly flat.

"I've been trying to decide whether this is pudding or part of the main meal," said John pointing to a white substance which was in a separate container.

Rodney took a spoon off the tray and dipped it into the sauce. After a moment of moving the food about in his mouth he swallowed. "Ah that's mash potato," he said pointedly, "Which means you put your pudding with your peas and beef."

John sneered and pushed the food away from him, "Thought it tasted funny."

"So have you had any other visitors?" asked Rodney. Hands behind his back and standing dead straight.

"Teyla and Ford briefly," said John picking up the fork and scoring some lines through the potato. "I told Carson I didn't want to see anyone else."

"Charming," said Rodney, "I'd be hurt if I cared."

Rodney stood awkwardly for a minute and shuffled his feet before John finally sighed, "What do you want Rodney?"

"Oh well there's thanks for you. I come to check on your welfare –"

"Thank you Rodney," said John taking in a laboured breathe, "I guess I got you all wrong."

"So……..what did happen out there?" asked Rodney.

"And _there_ it is," said John.

"Elizabeth has filled in some of the blanks, but there's still the question regarding Blake."

John swallowed, took a deep breathe and then looked away.

Rodney pulled up a chair and continued, "Bates is baying for your blood. He wants some answers and I'm answer man so…" he gestured for John to pick up where he left off. Except John didn't say a word, instead he plucked at the blanket and chewed on his lower lip.

"Its just you said it was your fault."

"When?" His eyes shot up and connected with Rodney's before looking down at the bed again.

"When you first came through the gate." Rodney took another bite of his mashed potatoes.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well you're going to have to at some point." Said Rodney and he indicated to the tray, "Are you going to eat the rest of this?"

John shook his head, "No, knock yourself out," he said as Rodney snatched the tray and set it down in his lap, "_Please_," He added as an afterthought.

"So what did Kolya want?" asked Rodney around a mouthful of peas.

"Oh I don't know. To ask where we bought our uniforms, directions, you're phone number……" he paused at Rodney's expression, "Revenge."

Rodney nodded, "And Blake?"

John clenched his jaw and pierced Rodney with a look, "I said I didn't want to talk about it."

"People will talk,"

"I don't care if they talk," snapped John.

"Well if you go around saying it was your fault and then don't elaborate, what are people going to think?" said Rodney.

"I didn't put the knife to his throat if that's what you're asking," said John closing his eyes.

"Well what-"

"Drop it!" He was getting a headache at the base of his skull and his side felt as though it was on fire. The morphine that Carson had given him hours ago was already beginning to wear off. He could feel the aches of his muscles and the tender spots on his skin where it was bruised.

"So, did Kolya mention me?" asked Rodney quickly changing the subject.

"No." John answered sharply as he sucked in a pained breathe.

"Not once?"

"He called me an asshole at one point so I guess he used your name in vain." He managed a weak smile and tried to adjust his position in the bed.

Rodney all the while was oblivious to his fidgeting and obvious discomfort as he continued his tirade.

"Ha funny. Well good to see your 'sense of humour' has remained firmly intact," he said shoving some beef into his mouth. "He really didn't mention me?"

"No Rodney, you didn't come up in conversation," he said wincing as pain slashed at his nerve endings.

"Well there's appreciation for you. He uses my genius, he stabs me-"

"Scratches you."

"I thwart his attempts at getting a zpm-"

"I solved that puzzle," said John now gripping the covers and sweating.

"And I don't even get a mention." He swallowed the remnants of the food.

"You……selfish son of a bitch," gasped John all of a sudden and he gripped the railing so hard his knuckles were turning white.

Rodney shot up to a standing position, the tray forgotten and clattering on the floor. "Oh my god? Are you okay?"

John gave him a frustrated look and continued to suck in air against the pain.

"Are you terrorizing my patient?" asked Carson as he entered the room.

"Yes" "No" They answered simultaneously.

On seeing Johns condition Carson ran over to the bed and grabbed Johns wrist, "What's happening son?"

"Pain..stomach," John managed to say before slamming himself backwards against the mattress in the throws of pain.

"What's happening?" asked Rodney coming up behind Carson and peering over his shoulder.

"The morphine's worn off, I'll give you some more Major just hold on."

He injected a fresh vial of morphine into his drip and they watched for a moment as John writhed back and forth, one hand on his stomach the other clutching the rail.

Carson checked his watch and then lifted Johns shirt to listen to his breathing again. It was then that Rodney saw the full extent of the bruising to John's stomach. It was an angry black and purplish colour and it covered the entire area.

Carson put a steadying hand on Johns shoulder and waited till he finally stilled and his eyes closed in exhaustion, "You'll be feeling much better now Major," he said.

"What was that?" asked John weakly.

"The bruising to your stomach is going to be uncomfortable for a while. The abuse it's taken means you might have the odd cramp and spasm for a while."

"Felt like I was taking a beating again," said John fighting the floating sensation.

"I'll make sure your morphine is topped up regularly," he patted John on the shoulder as his eyes finally closed shut.

Rodney remained stood over him for a moment.

"It looks a lot worse than it is," said Carson disposing of the syringe he had just used.

--------------

_The fist that caught him in the side caught him unawares and he sank to the concrete again without being able to shield his chin from the fall. His hands were still tied behind his back and somebody was grabbing him by the wrists and pulling him upright again. _

_He could feel himself blacking out. The warm caress of a world oblivious to pain, but it wasn't to be and a sharp squeeze to his bruised shoulder bought him back to reality. His eyes snapped open and Kolya was face to face with him, "Don't go blacking out on me now."_

_John conjured up every resource from his body and tried to straighten up, "What, when I'm having so much fun," he said sarcastically._

_He looked down at Kolya's hands and saw the blood covering them. _

_Was that his blood?_

_Was that Elizabeth's blood?_

"_Elizabeth?" he said raising his eyes._

_Kolya looked down at his hands and smiled. "How would you feel if I said it was?"_

John woke with a start and sprang upwards in his bed before being driven back down on the bed by a strong set of arms.

"It's okay Lad, just a bad dream," Carson was saying.

John blinked a few times against the confusion.

No bad dream. _That_ had happened. Kolya had allowed him to believe for a long time that Elizabeth was dead. That's why he had allowed Koyla to beat him without another snarky remark or fleeting attempt to escape. For that duration he had given up.

When he had seen Elizabeth alive and well later on he cursed himself for allowing himself to weaken and endure injuries which would hinder his attempt to get them free. Or at least get _her_ free.

"Are you okay now?" asked Carson. John could only see his silhouette. The infirmary was shrouded in darkness, so he figured it must be night.

"Yeah," he panted.

Carson nodded and went to leave, "Doc?"

"Yes?" asked Carson his Scottish brogue finding him in the darkness.

"You've run our blood right?"

"Uh..yes," answered Carson wondering where this line of enquiry was going.

"Did you find anything?" he asked squinting to make out his face.

"Nothing out of the ordinary…..Major where's this going?"

John settled back in his bed and closed his eyes, "Just checking." He stated.

Carson nodded, "Get some rest."

John waited until he heard Carson's footsteps dissipate and then opened his eyes again.

John wasn't going to explain to Carson why he had asked about the blood and hoped he would just put it down to morphine induced confusion.

After all, what he was feeling was totally unfounded.

Something felt wrong and he just couldn't put his finger on it. He would have thought about it longer but again he felt weariness take him away somewhere he couldn't think.

------------------------

TBC

_So what's going on. It'll be a while before they find out so persevere and you'll be rewarded eventually._

_Cheers for the reviews x_


	7. Chapter 7

Elizabeth sighed, rolled over and hooked her legs over the edge of her bed. Beckett had prescribed her rest, but it wasn't something she was finding it easy to come by. The constant headache at the base of her skull wasn't helping either and she rubbed at her neck for a while before standing up to stretch.

For the length of time that she had been home it had been the same every day.

Get out of bed, shower, food and then back to her room to sit and read and rest.

Atlantis felt out of her control and though she trusted Rodney implicitly, she couldn't help but feel left out of the loop when it came to matters concerning her city.

Rodney had been doing so well, she wondered if she would be wanted back in command.

Staring at the crumpled sheets on her bed and yawning, she jumped when Atlantis's alarm started to scream overhead.

She didn't think twice about grabbing her radio and placing it snugly into her ear.

She did however think twice about contacting Rodney.

She was supposed to be resting after all.

After a minute of listening to the wailing alarm she finally found her voice and activated the comms. "What's going on Rodney?"

"Elizabeth, Doctor Beckett said to rest." The curt response came.

"I would, but that alarm is rather distracting," she said as she left her room and walked down the corridors towards the gate room. "Just tell me what's going on." She stated.

"Markham's team are coming in hot," he said over the radio, "Lt Ash is injured."

Elizabeth paused for a moment and waited a beat, "Is Ash okay?" She could feel her hands shaking as she tapped the radio, "Rodney?"

"They're coming through now," he said and there were the sounds of the gate disengaging, movement, shouting, and Carson was being called.

"Rodney?"

"Ash is okay," he said breathing a sigh of relief, "The teams through safe and sound. You can relax now."

He signed off and Elizabeth leant against the wall for a second to organise her thoughts. She had feared the worst as soon as she heard Ash was injured. She figured that it was going to take a while before she could find solid composure again. Her heart was thumping in her chest so hard, that when she rounded the corner she didn't hear the sounds of oncoming traffic.

She ploughed straight in Major Sheppard's chest.

He recoiled backwards, let out a cough and sagged against the wall. Elizabeth noticed he was dressed in red scrubs, barefoot and trailing an IV pole behind him.

"What are you doing?" she asked grabbing him by the arm.

He looked a truly pathetic sight. His hair was even more dishevelled than usual, a task in itself, and he looked half asleep still. Carson was going to skin him alive.

He closed his eyes and hugged the wall before answering, "I heard one of my Lt's was injured, I thought I could help." He wheezed.

"Barefoot and connected to an I.V?" she asked smiling.

He opened his eyes and gave her an accusatory look, "What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be resting in your quarters?"

"I heard the alarm," she said clasping and unclasping her hands, "And I was up."

"Well so was I," he said grumpily.

"Infirmary, before Carson catches you," she said steering him down the corridor.

He nodded and began to turn and Elizabeth placed a hand on his arm as he walked very slowly down the corridor, "I didn't hurt you did I?" she asked indicating to his chest.

"Oh that," he said, "No you haven't broken me."

She was about to say something else when she heard the sounds of commotion behind her. Carson and a medical team were steering a gurney down the corridor towards them. Lt Ash was sitting upright and gripping his ankle.

The gurney passed them but Carson stopped dead and let out an exasperated sigh, "What are you two doing?"

Elizabeth and John both looked guiltily at one another and then back to Carson, who had now progressed to hands on hips mode.

"Going for a stroll?" offered John.

Carson shook his head and started to herd John back towards the infirmary, "Why cant you be a nice co-operative patient," he muttered under his breath.

On arriving at the infirmary John was instructed to get into bed and stay in bed and Elizabeth was given similar orders.

As she was tucking him into bed she noticed that he was staring at her. "What?"

"Since coming back, are you….i mean…do you feel any different?" he asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just concerned….. about you?" he said looking at the foot of the bed.

"Me?" she asked, suspecting he was displacing his feelings onto her.

"Yeah..uh you," he said now reaching for a glass of water and taking long sips.

"I have an appointment to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer tomorrow," she said running a hand through her hair. She remembered she had not long got out of bed and was suddenly feeling self conscious. "You know if you want to talk about Lt Blake…if its bothering you,"

She noticed the change in his eyes immediately and he glanced down at his hands before saying, "Who said its bothering me?"

"Well no doubt you feel responsible," said Elizabeth perching on the edge of the bed, "You're not."

John licked his lips, "I'm fine," he said, "Fine."

"Are you sure?" asked Elizabeth reaching for the empty glass he was holding in his hands.

"I'm not feeling too well," he said suddenly and lay back on the bed to emphasise the point, "All that walking around must have tired me out." They locked eyes and she nodded in understanding.

She knew what he was doing. John admitting that he felt ill was a lie. John Sheppard never admitted to any kind of weakness let alone an injury. If he had a knife in his heart he would say it was a scratch. Just like if he was emotionally off keel inside he would say he was 'good' or 'fine'.

She decided to leave him for the time being, knowing that he was never really forthcoming with any kind of personal insight. What she did know of him, she knew purely by instinct or by what was put in his file. If he was going to talk, it would be on his terms.

------------------------

_Three weeks_. _Three weeks_ of hell. _Three weeks_ of sitting around with nothing but the thoughts in his head. _Three weeks_ of seeing Blakes face every time someone was bought into the infirmary. _Three weeks_ of Carson and his needle happy hands. _Three weeks _and nothing was going to stop him from leaving the infirmary today.

Not even the stabbing pain at the base of his skull.

Not even that.

"So no strenuous activities, you're still healing. The bruises may have gone down…."

John turned his thoughts back to his freedom and what he would do with. His plan consisted of going down to the shooting range and firing off a few rounds before getting a proper meal.

"And you won't be cleared for duty until you go and see Doctor Heightmeyer,"

That's was most definitely not in his plans today.

He had practically convinced himself that Blake dying was not his fault.

It was a consequence of the military lifestyle.

An acceptable loss.

No that wasn't his voice, that's something military administration would say.

Either way, for any soldier, dying in the field was the best outcome.

Except, Blake had been murdered and not killed preventing a grenade from killing his team mates or jumping in front of a bullet to save a child. He had been slaughtered for Kolya's amusement in revenge for John's previous actions.

No, seeing Heightmeyer was a waste of time.

See he was fine.

"And you'll have to come back for regular blood works over the next few days," said Carson finishing finally.

John nodded and jumped off the bed a little too enthusiastically. He felt the slight jar to his bruised ribs and expertly managed to hide the grimace with a smile, "Thanks Doc,"

"Remember, take it slow and talk to Kate."

John nodded and headed for the door.

Freedom.

--------------------------

Leaving the infirmary felt like leaving behind the stabilizers on a bike.

John was glad when he got down to the shooting range that he was the only one there.

John pulled his berretta from his holster and inspected the gun.

It wasn't his.

His had been taken by the lake. This one felt unfamiliar, the butt didn't have the recognizable scrapes nor the character of the old one and the trigger felt hard. It wasn't moulded like the other and his finger felt foreign to it.

He spent time inspecting the chamber before loading a fresh cartridge and disengaging safety.

He walked over to the line and pointed at the silhouette at the other end of the room.

He imagined it was Kolya.

He fired one shot off and smiled when it hit the centre of the target.

TWO

That one was for Elizabeth.

THREE

That's one was for Blake.

FOUR

Ah fuck it, that one was for Blake too.

FIVE.

That one was for this whole sorry situation.

He continued to fire until the bullets had all been expelled and he ejected the empty, allowing it to clatter to the floor noisily. He regretted it straight away as the sound made him wince and his headache spike.

"Major Sheppard?"

John knew his private moment alone with the target couldn't last forever and he turned deliberately slowly, "Sergeant Bates," he said bending to pick up the cartridge, "I was kinda hoping to fly solo today."

"I've been waiting to talk to you," said Bates taking a step forward out of the dark.

John nodded and reloaded his handgun, "Cant this wait?"

"This report is already overdue."

"Well what do you want to know?" asked John taking up position again and firing off a shot.

"Exactly what happened from your capture to your release," said Bates jumping as John fired off another shot.

John turned to him, raised an eyebrow and then turned back to the target, "Didn't Elizabeth give you her side?" he asked as he fired again.

"I need your side."

John pulled the trigger, "My side." He repeated.

"Sir, could you stop that for a minute?"

John swung around, gun still up and then realising his error immediately pointed it down, "You came down here, remember?"

"Kolya captured you when the Jumper was downed ….right?" John noticed that Bates had had a file in his hands and now he was pulling up a chair at the table where they assembled their weapons. He drew out a pen from a mysterious pocket.

_Probably his ass_ thought John.

Bates held the pen poised.

John sighed, "We were hit by a heavy duty weapon. I didn't see where it was, or what it was. Felt it though," he said moving the gun around in his hands, "I put us down in the lake – the only area of open space-" he said before Bates could complain about his choice of landsite, "And when we got out Koyla was waiting."

Bates nodded and continued to write, "And then?"

"We were taken to a base. It was underground."

"It's location?"

"Unknown. I was unconscious on the way in and out." He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as another spark of pain shot down his neck, "We were separated. I was taken to a room and beaten, I don't know for how long, but I woke up in a cell with Elizabeth at some point. A few days later."

Standing and having this conversation was taking it all out of him and he took another deep breathe, "We were taken outside. I didn't see where we were. It was raining. Blake was tied up." He swallowed hard and turned back towards the target for a brief minute.

"Major Sheppard?"

John turned back to him, "They wanted to know about Earth. The Genii are thinking of relocating rather than fighting the war with the Wraith. I wouldn't talk so they killed Lt Blake. Is that it?"

"How did they kill Blake?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" asked John beginning to feel hot, "Do you want to know specifically how many pints of blood he lost as well? They cut his damn throat." He said feeling his body tense. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Too many people had died under his command and this one was near pushing him over the edge.

Bates nodded and seemed to regret his question. He finished writing and then looked up, "Doctor Beckett says you were drugged. What do you remember after Blake's death?"

John tried to recall the events afterwards, but still he was looking at nothingness.

"I don't remember," he stated.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean, am I sure Sergeant? If I could remember don't you think I would tell you."

"I'm not sure. If you or Doctor Weir have been compromised in any way-"

John shook his head, "No, no look. Kolya let us go. That's it. He wanted us to remember the look on Blake's face when he died. Nothing more. That was his plan all along. If it hadn't of been Blake it would have been Elizabeth."

That thought made him feel physically sick as he realised it could have gone that way. _Would he have made the same decision_?

"Sir?"

"Bates leave it at that!" he shouted and as his voice echoed he realised that was not the only sound he had heard. He realised that as he had bought his hands up in exasperation he had put pressure on the trigger and had fired off a shot. The bullet thankfully didn't ricochet and headed in a safe direction but it was enough for Bates to start scribbling something down in his file.

"That was an acci………Bates don't put that in the file," he said dejectedly.

"I'm sorry Sir, but it will be my suggestion to Doctor Beckett that he confine you and Doctor Weir to your rooms until we are sure you didn't tell Kolya anything you shouldn't." He stood and started for the door.

John dropped his gun onto the table and bought his hands up to rub at his face, "You do that," he said wearily.

He pulled on the wire until the target was within reach and inspected it.

One shot had hit dead centre.

The others had missed.

He was definitely off his game.

----------------------

John walked to the commissary all the while feeling hot with rage. Bates was on a one man crusade to wind him up.

He grabbed a tray at the counter and loaded it up without looking. For all he knew he could have been eating the napkins.

When he sat down he saw Teyla, Aiden and Rodney were all sat on the table opposite him and Rodney gave him a little wave.

On noticing that John wasn't moving they all picked up their trays and moved to sit next to him.

"Good to see you out of the infirmary," said Aiden.

"Yes, are you supposed to be out?" asked Rodney taking a bite out of a bread roll.

John looked down at his tomato soup and grimaced, "Yeah. I was let out this morning."

"You look much better," said Teyla trying to catch his eye.

The three of them watched him as he stared down at the soup.

"If you don't want it, I'll eat it," said Rodney already reaching for John's spoon. His hand was promptly slapped away and John snapped his head up.

"It's fine," he said looking at the red liquid and picked up his spoon to take a sip. Again he just stared at it. It reminded him too much of blood. The thought of eating it made his stomach churn and finally he pushed it towards Rodney and reached for his sandwich.

"Maybe I don't want it now," said Rodney.

"Just eat it," said Aiden noticing the look of frustration on his superiors face.

Teyla too seemed to tense beside him, sensing that something was array, "Are you sure you are okay?" she asked.

"Question of the month," said John through a mouthful of turkey sandwich, "It takes more than Kolya to bring me down."

"How long before you can resume your stick practice?" asked Teyla having a sip of her Athosian tea.

John shrugged, "Beckett says not for at least another month, but I'll be healed up before then."

"If Doctor Beckett says a month then-"

"He's just covering his behind," said John notice the confusion flash across Teyla's face.

"I have some stuff in my lab I need you to touch," said Rodney wiping his mouth with a serviette.

Aiden sniggered and covered his mouth, "Sorry?"

"Childish," said Rodney scowling.

"Great," said John putting the sandwich down on the plate. He wasn't that hungry, but he knew if he didn't finish it then they would report him to Carson. He took another bite to ensure his continued freedom from the infirmary.

Rodney looked at his watch and jumped up, "We're late," he said putting everything back onto his tray.

"For?" asked John having a sip of water.

"You don't know?" asked Rodney, "Mx5647"

"Holed up in bed remember?" said John.

"We're going off-world Sir," said Aiden standing up, "With SGA three."

"SGA?"

"Stargate Atlantis team three," elaborated Aiden.

"You mean Hunters team," said John, "Don't fix what ain't broke."

"We had better go. Enjoy your meal," said Teyla and she scurried off with Aiden. Before Rodney could walk away John called him back over and got up to join him.

"What?" asked Rodney still chewing.

John sighed and then rolled his eyes before reaching down and pulling out Rodney's handgun.

"What are you doing?" asked Rodney as John checked the barrel and the cartridge and then turned his attention to Rodney vest.

He handed the gun back to him and sat down again in front of his sandwich.

"Did I miss something?" asked Rodney.

John looked away and then back up to meet Rodney's gaze, "I was just checking your gear. I don't want anything to…I wanted to make sure everything was safe and-" he stopped and took a bite of his sandwich before he could say anything else stupid.

Rodney understood and nodded, also very embarrassed, "Oh thanks, safe…yeah,"

John smiled, "Be careful out there."

Rodney gave him a mock salute, which John nearly shot him himself for, and then he hurried off to the gateroom.

----------------

John practically ran out to the balcony after his meal. It hadn't settled well and he leant against the railing and put his forehead down on it.

He felt so dislocated from everything and everyone. He had just rejected a bowl of soup on the basis it resembled blood. He had previously been careless with his firearm. And now he was leaning against a railing and hyperventilating. Perhaps seeing Kate Heightmeyer wasn't such a bad idea, considering he was obviously losing his mind.

It had all been triggered by Kolya. He swore if he found that rat bastard again he would show absolutely no compassion. To hell with their points system.

"You bastard," he seethed and rubbed at his neck.

"Should I be offended?"

John lifted his head from the railing and stared forward as Elizabeth came to join him. She stayed just far enough away so they weren't touching.

"I'm going to find Kolya," he said finding his calm, "And I'm going to kill him."

Elizabeth was at a loss for words. "Beckett let you go then?" she asked changing the subject.

He nodded, "Yeah,"

"I talked to Kate again today. You should really think about going to see her."

"No thanks," he said turning to face her. She noticed the bags under his eyes.

"She's really helped me. Talking has put things into perspective." She said trying to instil a little hope in John. At the moment he seemed utterly depressed.

"Can of worms," he said simply.

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to," she said feeling dumb for saying the obvious.

"In my case that's nothing. So I'll save her the bother."

"Without talking to her, you cant go back on duty."

"I'm the commanding Officer. I cant just go off duty forever." He said breathing in the crisp air. It was making his stomach settle. "Beckett will give at some point."

"But I wont," she said. "Bates has offered to take over for the duration," she said crossing her arms.

"Oh I bet he has," he said sighing. "Fine, I'll talk to the shrink. But in my own time."

Elizabeth nodded.

"You fancy watching a movie tonight or something?" he asked looking out to the horizon. He wondered what the Athosian's were up to on the mainland. Perhaps he could go over there for a few days.

Elizabeth didn't answer. She seemed to be thinking.

John turned and placed his arm playfully around her shoulder. He didn't miss the tense of her muscles and the way she took a step backwards. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head, "Why do you always do that?" he asked.

Elizabeth leant against the railing, "What?" she asked playing dumb.

"Flinch away from me like that?" he said taking a step closer to her, "You know, I can touch you and people don't assume we're having sex." He said frankly.

Elizabeth was almost taken aback at his tone, "We should always be seen to be having a purely professional relationship," she said.

John couldn't believe his ears and he turned away from her, "I just wanted to watch a movie with my friend," he said rubbing at his neck.

"Headache?" she asked and he flinched away.

"Yeah," he closed his eyes and rubbed, "Been getting a lot of them lately."

Elizabeth nodded, "Same here."

"Look, I'm sorry," said John looking up at her, "I'm just in a bad mood. Bates got me all wound up and irritable."

"Its okay," said Elizabeth, "Why don't you go and get some rest?"

He swallowed thickly, "Yeah I might do that."

TBC

Only a few more chapters before you find out what's really going on. Then some!


	8. Chapter 8

_Hope you are all enjoying this. Thank you for your kind words._

When Kate Heightmeyer said, "Come in!" she felt her mouth gape open when Major Sheppard walked into the room. He sauntered in, hands in pockets and gave her a brief smile.

"Major Sheppard," she stuttered and gestured to a chair opposite her.

"Okay, I'm here," he said sitting very slowly. His hand found his side and he winced.

"Are you okay?" she asked leaning forward slightly.

He nodded, "Yeah just twinges now and again." He shifted in his seat.

"You know why you're here?" she asked reaching into a filing cabinet and pulling out a hefty file on him.

"Yeah. So uh, how does this work?"

"Lets start with the most recent events. Kolya."

"Rat bastard," said John quickly, "Next topic."

"Major, if you're not going to take this seriously then I suggest you leave before you waste both of our time," she said with a shake of her head.

"I'm taking this seriously," lied John. What he really wanted was to get this out of the way so he could go back on duty and get some semblance of normality back. "I take getting certified sane so I can get back to doing my job extremely seriously."

"I understand your reluctance to talk. It's natural to want to plead ignorance and get on with your life, but it's not healthy."

"Lt Blake died as a result of an impossible situation."

"Which you feel responsible for," said Kate.

He shifted in his seat again to find a comfortable position, "I am responsible," he said wringing his hands together, "But then military life expectancy isn't that high Doctor. I'm used to it."

"How do you keep everything bottled up?" she asked getting up and walking around to sit on the edge of her desk.

John looked up at her and she could see a bruise that marred his strong jaw line.

"I don't bottle. I just don't need to talk about it like some people."

"You need some kind of outlet," said Kate.

"Outlet huh?"

"I'm serious Major."

"I stick fight, I exercise, go to the shooting range-"

"- so you release your stress in violent outbursts."

John smiled and then stood up to walk over to the window, "You're twisting my words. Look just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't care, or that I'm not coping. What do you want me to cry or something?" he asked shoving his hands into his pockets.

"When was the last time you cried?" asked Kate.

John let out a short laugh and then turned to her with an expression of 'are you serous?' and then shrugged, "I don't remember, probably when we lost the super bowl," he joked.

He heard Kate sigh from behind him, "I know you're a private person but-"

"Look it. Atlantis needs a strong leader. By moving on I show everyone that everything will be okay." He looked out towards the horizon, "You've let Elizabeth back on duty," he stated.

"I cant discuss my other cases, but I can tell you she has shown a healthy response to Lt Blake's death which suggests to me she can move on."

"Healthy response?" questioned John, "There's nothing healthy about it."

"You are being deliberately evasive," she said reaching for his file and looking through it.

"I am fine," he said, "And I'm not in denial." He thought for a second and then added, "And don't say I'm in denial for saying I'm not in denial."

Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

John turned to her, "We're not going to get anywhere," he said bringing his hand up to his head.

"I want to try something with you. Have you heard of regressive hypnotherapy?"

John nodded, "You gonna swing a big stopwatch in front of my face and tell me I'm sleepy. Very, very sleepy?"

"It's a method of relaxation which often warrants positive results. It allows the mind to remember certain forgotten events."

"I don't think so."

"Major, If the results prove productive then I might just assign you back to duty."

John thought about it for a moment and realised that without Kate's consent Carson would never let him back on duty, especially if he happened to read Bates report.

He nodded and Kate asked him to lie back on the couch.

"Okay Major," she said sitting in a chair beside him, "Are you ready?"

He settled back and closed his eyes, "Just don't go making me act like a chicken or something."

Kate smiled, "Okay I want you to close your eyes. Allow your shoulders, your hands, your legs to feel weightless. Allow your mind to drift over the events of the past few weeks."

Getting to a point of relaxation wasn't going to be an easy task.

"Concentrate on my voice. If I tap your hand you will wake up."

"This isn't going to work."

"Major."

"Okay," he said and concentrated on relaxing and breathing slowly.

"What do you see?"

"Nothing,"

"Your not trying, you need to release everything. You need to free yourself from every thought and feeling."

It took a while before Kate was convinced that the Major had reached the sufficient level of calm required for the process to be effective.

"What do you see now?"

"Blake's dead," he said.

_They were pushed into the cell and both stumbled to the floor. _

_John reached round and grabbed Elizabeth by the arm and hugged her close as she continued to stifle the sobs which wracked her body. John just stared up at Kolya as Blake's body was dropped down into the cell with them._

"_We'll give you some time alone," said Kolya looking at his watch, "And then we'll be back. Like I said I've got plans for you two."_

_The door was slammed shut and John held Elizabeth even more tightly, "Don't look," he said into her hair. She kept her head against his chest._

_He just sat and stared across the room to Blake's open lifeless eyes._

John jerked his eyes open and found himself scrambling up into a sitting position, "What the…," he rubbed at his eyes and felt his face was slick with tears.

"It's okay, " said Kate reaching out to him, "I had to bring you out of it. You were getting distressed."

John stood up shakily and felt the renewed pain in his head as he weaved towards the door, "We're done" he said wiping at his face.

"Major, we were just getting somewhere. Please stay and try again."

"I said we're done," he shouted and hit the door release button.

When it swung open he was confronted by Rodney. The last person he wanted to see at that point in time.

"Ah Major, finally you've seen sense," he said.

John pushed passed him, "Leave it Rodney," he said and started to walk down the hallway.

Rodney proceeded to follow him, "What's wrong? You been crying or something?" he joked.

He was about to reel off another snide remark when he felt himself being pushed up against the wall with force. John was gripping his shirt and angrily gave him a shove, "I suggest you stop following me." He released Rodney and walked off down the corridor.

----------------

Regressing back all those weeks ago had unlocked some dormant part of John's brain and now all he could see was those eyes and hear Elizabeth's sobs.

Sleeping had been a bust. He had simply tossed and turned until he had grown so frustrated he had thrust his pillow across the room and broken a lamp on his desk.

It was late now and John stumbled down the empty corridors using his hands to steady himself against the walls. He stopped momentarily to take in a deep breathe as another dizzy spell made his stomach spin.

He leant against the wall and then slid down it slowly to a seating position. He activated his radio and took a deep breath, "Comms"

"Yes Sir," the voice returned calmly.

"Could you put me on a private line to Doctor Weir?"

"Yes sir. Connecting you now."

"Elizabeth?" he asked rubbing at his eyes. He was not feeling too good right now and it was even worse knowing that it was self inflicted.

"John?" The sleepy voice croaked.

"Did I wake you?"

"What's wrong?" she asked. He could hear the sounds of ruffling in the background and realised he had indeed woken her.

"I went to see Heightmey…Heightmeyer," he said very slightly slurred.

"I heard," there was a brief pause, "Are you okay John?"

"Peachy," he answered and drew his legs up to his chest. "Blake was put in the cell with us after we were taken inside. Do you remember that?"

There was silence over the line and John thought that she had switched off.

"No," she stated.

"I do. It must have only been an hour, but I remember sitting there and looking at him for that hour. You know he was still bleeding out onto the floor?"

"John, you're scaring me."

"What do you remember?"

"I don't…well nothing crucial. Just shapes, feelings."

"Something's wrong Liz. Is it just me?"

"Did you call me Liz?"

"Something is wrong," he repeated. He could feel himself fading fast and he had to tell her something before he passed out or forgot, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from that…….I was scared,"

"John where are you, you sound funny," she said hurried.

"Eliz……"he licked his lips, "I was scared because I might lose you and-"

"John, John?"

There was silence for a long time and then her earpiece crackled as a new radio connected to their line.

"Elizabeth, its Rodney I've found John passed out in a corridor. I'm going to get him to the infirmary."

Elizabeth didn't have to think twice. She pulled on her clothes and ran.

--------------

Elizabeth ran into the infirmary and stopped herself just in time before she bumped into Rodney.

"How is he?" she asked and he gave her a shrug.

The sound of John retching bought her to attention and she looked over to see him sprawled out in the bed, leaning over the side and bringing up his lunch.

Carson was patting him on the back, "That's it," he said handing John a basin, "Get it all out."

"Carson?" asked Elizabeth from a distance. Already the room was beginning to reek.

Carson gave Johns shoulder a squeeze as he lost the battle with his stomach again and then walked over to them.

"Zelenka's moonshine," he said simply glancing back to where John was cursing.

"He's drunk?" asked Elizabeth crossing her arms.

"Kate said he was liable to react like this," said Carson, "Apparently he wasn't willing to let anything go at their session."

"He's certainly letting something go now," said Rodney bringing up a hand to his mouth as he felt his own stomach do a somersault.

They all turned to John lying sprawled out on the bed, eyes closed hand over his stomach. He cracked an eye open to see them and waved them away, "Stop staring at me," he shouted before turning green again.

"I'll keep him in for overnight observation and to get some fluids into him." said Carson.

"We'll have to talk to him tomorrow," said Rodney, "He can't go on like this."

"It's not like him. Usually these things don't hit him so hard." Said Elizabeth.

"Only because they have obviously been building up," said Carson.

"Can I talk to him before I go?" asked Elizabeth and Carson nodded.

A nurse was already mopping up the floor and the strong smell of disinfectant assaulted her nose as she approached the bed.

John had his hand up to his head and he muttered a weak, "Sorry,"

"Oh John,"

"Look a sorry state huh?" he questioned, "I was just gonna have a nightcap to help me sleep, but one turned into two and……it wont happen again." He said, "Oh my head is spinning."

"Zelenka's moonshine is pretty potent," said Elizabeth, "We'll talk about this when you're feeling better,"

John reached for her hand and squeezed it before bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it, "You are a good woman," he said eyes slipping closed.

"You're drunk" she said pulling her hand away.

He wouldn't let it go yet and he mumbled, "I meant what I said before,"

"About something not being right?"

"Cant explain but my head feels funny,"

"Get some rest John,"

------------------

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

_Wow I went onto the Gateworld forum and saw people talking about my fic. –Beams with pride- I love that. Please keep reviewing and push me into triple figures.. Pretty, pretty please._

Elizabeth rubbed at the back of her neck as personnel filed into the debriefing room and sat down around the large table.

Her mind was wandering to what John had said the previous night about something being wrong.

She knew to some degree that he was right. She had just been pushing her feelings of uneasiness aside, blaming them on her adverse reaction to the death of another colleague.

As she tried to knead out the pain in her head, she thought how she had been getting a lot of these headaches lately and John too. There wasn't a moment when she had seen him since getting back that he hadn't had his hand up to his head.

She waited until everyone was sat comfortably.

"Sergeant Bates, I see you have been very thorough in your report," she said opening it and scanning over the first page again, "And your suggestion has been duly noted. But I cannot agree to being confined to quarters."

"Perhaps not yourself, but Major Sheppard has displayed some odd behaviour in the past few days which I feel cannot be ignored."

"I heard he got pretty drunk last night," said Aiden from across the table.

"Major Sheppard was off duty and what he wanted to do with his free time was his choice," said Elizabeth.

"Still he should show some decorum, a lot of people look up to him," said Bates angrily, "The military contingent-"

"-The military contingent think he well deserved a break" said Aiden tersely.

"I wouldn't call a handful of opinions, the military contingent," said Bates.

Aiden raised a casual eyebrow and sat back in his seat, "I'm just saying Major Sheppard has a lot of stress to deal with."

"Gentlemen please," said Elizabeth clearing her throat. "Doctor Beckett, what is your recommendation?"

"There has been no abnormal readings in either of your blood works and no toxins in the body to indicate a foreign object," he paused and looked around the table, "If anything Major Sheppard has been displaying classic signs of depression. This therefore could be a totally separate event."

"So what do we do?" she asked.

"We need to schedule more sessions with Kate. By all accounts she said the session was productive, but he bolted."

"So you want to keep him off duty for a while longer?" asked Elizabeth, "I know John, I don't think he's going to adjust well to being cooped up here all the time."

"Plus he'll just pester me in my lab all the time," said Rodney from across the table.

"Well he cant be allowed to resume full duty. Did you not read the report. He set off his firearm irresponsibly," saidBates angrily.

"Irresponsible but no harm was done," said Elizabeth.

"He'd just been released from the infirmary,." said Carson in his defence.

"We should leave him alone," said Rodney, "That's what he wants. I mean I tried to help him the other day and he near slammed me into a wall."

Sets of eyes were on him in an instant and he swallowed, "What?"

"Why didn't you inform me of this?" asked Elizabeth.

"Because I was pissing him off," said Rodney nervously, "Because he was embarrassed about having a session with Kate."

"What about the headaches?" asked Bates all of a sudden.

"I guess private and confidential doesn't apply to you huh?" said Rodney leaning on his elbows.

Elizabeth swallowed hard this time and found herself feeling nervous, "I've been getting them too," she said distractedly.

Carson nodded, "Aye you've been emptying the Tylenol supply between you," said Carson.

"Could they be tension headaches?" asked Elizabeth.

"They could be. Headaches have been a symptom closely associated to post traumatic stress syndrome," said Carson, "You should both come in for a few tests to make sure though,"

"So perhaps you're not fine," said Bates.

"That's enough, Sergeant," said Elizabeth suddenly.

"You both need to assessed fully before you resume your roles within Atlantis."

"I'm fit to run my post," said Elizabeth, "We've established that Major Sheppard is in all likelihood depressed. My mental state is not in question here, is it?" she snapped. She had found herself standing and breathed in heavily realising she had lost her composure and shown everyone that she was possibly as damaged as John.

"Myself and John will submit to Beckett's tests," she said angrily, "And then if they are all clear I want this to be put to rest."

She rubbed at her head for a moment and immediately dropped her hand when she saw Carson give her a concerned look, "If Johns tests are clear. He will resume his post as ranking military officer. You understand Bates. This file will mean nothing?"

Bates looked at her for a second and she wondered if her behaviour was as different as she thought it was.

He nodded finally and she scanned the room, "Is there anything else?"

-------------

Both John and Elizabeth went to Carson for their respective tests. There was a malfunction with one of the machines which meant their test results would not be ready until the nest day, so he had begrudgingly asked them to go to their quarters until he knew if there was anything to be worried about.

-----------

John rubbed at his head as he walked towards his quarters. He had been poked and prodded enough today so he figured it was a product of that. He couldn't shake the feeling though that this ache was building steadily. He was unsure as to what it was building too but all he wanted to do was lie down and hopefully sleep it away.

------------

Elizabeth sat on the edge of her bed and gripped her head in her hands. For the past hour, the pain in the back of her neck had started to radiate up into her skull. She had been overcome by nausea as soon as she had entered the room and had promptly deposited her dinner into the bathroom receptacle. Now, she was willing herself to feel better.

Every time she stood she felt dizzy and she was gripping the bed in a vain attempt to stay upright.

----------

John entered his quarters and immediately turned off the light he had left on. His eyes felt extra light sensitive and as he tentatively crawled onto his bed he wondered if this was what a brain aneurysm felt like. As the searing hot pain radiated throughout his neck and head he felt himself being pulled into semi unconsciousness.

"_What are you going to do with that?" asked John as he and Elizabeth were led into a room where a man was flicking the bubbles out of a syringe. _

_Kolya shoved John forward and he felt himself falling to his knees._

_Elizabeth was grabbed by her arm and led to a chair. She sat down reluctantly and gave John a panicked look. He tried to convey a look to her that she would be okay, but as her wrists were tied firmly to the chair, he didn't know if he had been correct in that first assumption_

_The man with the syringe walked over to Elizabeth and started to advance._

"_What are you doing?" she asked looking between the needle and Kolya._

"_What is that?" shouted John attempting to stand, "What are-" A kick to his side sent him down to his knees again and he looked up as Elizabeth arm was injected with the unknown substance._

"_What is that?" he called out again._

_Elizabeth was staring down at the injection mark with a look of horror, but she wasn't struggling. Just staring as blood began to run down the crook of her arm, perhaps contemplating whether or not she was going to die. Perhaps, paralyzed by fear._

_John pushed himself to his feet with renewed energy and ran at Kolya slamming him to the ground beside him. _

"_What have you done to her?" _

_The two men grappled on the floor whilst misaimed swings were caught and then redirected at one another._

_John felt strong hands grip him by the shoulders and push him down to the floor whilst his arm was twisted around and laid out flat. He struggled against the pressure and tried to move his arm but Kolya's blood stained lips came up close to his ear and said, "This would be a lot easier if you didn't struggle, if he nicked your vein you'd be dead in seconds," he said breathing hotly into Johns ear._

_John felt his arm being pushed down farther and sucked in his breathe when he felt the needle penetrate his skin._

_He waited a beat and found the restraining hands leave him. It was at this point he rolled over onto his back, jumped to his feet and ran head first at the man with the syringe. Using his forward momentum he managed to get on top of the man and he watched as the needle sank into his skin this time._

_He snarled as he was pulled into a standing position, but found it strange when nobody touched him._

_The other man was plucking the syringe out of his arm and stood shakily._

"_What was that?" he asked, feeling a tingling sensation crawl through his skin, "What was tha-?" he asked again. His tongue felt rubbery in his mouth and the words came out slurred. _

_He was swaying and tipping precariously. It was all he could do to remain standing._

_The man opposite also seemed to be having some difficulty and he was flexing his fingers, "This stuffs working fast," he said trying to rub at his arms._

_John looked on at him and managed to raise an eyebrow before feeling his legs crumble beneath him, "I cant feel my……" he was sat on the floor now, "What?" he looked up at Kolya and watched as the other man dropped to his knees._

_Kolya smiled and indicated for them to tie him to the chair, "You cant feel anything," he said as John was pulled up and into the chair beside Elizabeth._

_John couldn't talk, couldn't move. _

_He was paralyzed._

"_Then I guess its time to start," he said looking over at one of his scientists._

_He wanted to ask what was going to happen. In his head he was screaming out at Kolya but he couldn't find his voice. It was trapped behind a wall which he couldn't break. _

_Eventually Kolya noticed his eyes moving and he smiled, "We've been testing this for a while now," he said nodding to one of his scientists, "Of course. We don't know the side effects."_

_One of the men stepped up behind Elizabeth and pushed her head forward._

"_You won't remember any of this, nor will you remember what you're supposed to do. But when it's working." He leaned in close and John watched as blood dribbled down his chin, "Believe me, you'll know."_

"_We're ready Sir."_

_Kolya walked over to John and grabbed him by the head. Then, he turned it to face Elizabeth, "You get to watch," he said and then John watched in slow motion as the man injected Elizabeth in the back of the neck._

John woke up with a start. His hand flew up to the back of his neck and he felt himself panting with a mixture of anger and fear.

They had injected them in the neck with something.

"Shit," he swore as he got up and pulled on his clothes. Something was very wrong and he had to get to Elizabeth.

----------

"Elizabeth, Elizabeth!" he shouted as he banged on the door with his fist.

"Do you know what time it is?" a woman called out from the hallway rubbing at her eyes.

John looked at his watch and sighed, "Do any of us really know what time it is here?"

"It's dark outside, so at a guess I'd say it was night."

John turned to her and flustered said, "Go back to your room. There's nothing to worry about."

The woman gave him a look .

"I'll be quiet," said John dropping his hands to his sides and smiling, "I promise."

He waited until he was sure she was gone and then frustrated he gave the door a kick and then started again, "Eliz-"

The door whooshed open and Elizabeth was standing before him. Her dressing gown wrapped around her, one hand pushing through her hair.

"What's going on?" she looked up at him sleepily, "I was sleeping," she said yawning, "Headache."

John grabbed her by the arms and pushed her into her room.

"John?"

"Elizabeth, something happened whilst we were taken." He walked over to her bed and sat, rubbing at his face, "They injected us in the back of the neck," he said indicating.

Elizabeth's eyes opened a little wider and she gave him a small smile, "I think I'd remember that," she said rubbing at her neck now. She walked over to him and pushed his head down, inspecting his neck for marks, "No marks."

John pulled his head up to look at her and wringed his hands, "We're in a galaxy far, far away Elizabeth. I'm sure they can do this sort of stuff without leaving Frankenstein scars…dammit I can't believe Bates was right."

"Hold on, John are you sure about this?" asked Elizabeth sitting beside him, "You've been under a lot of stress lately. You're tired. Are you sure it wasn't a dream?"

John slowly looked over to her and shook his head, "That weird feeling I've been having. Something tells me its this." He stood up and touched his neck again, "Kolya did something to us?"

"What? For what use?" said Elizabeth, "I feel fine."

"I don't know," said John, "But we need to see Beckett and we need to be put in a holding cell or something."

"Holding cell, isn't that a little unnecessary?"

"Do you want to wait and find out?"

Elizabeth now stood and grabbed at some clothes on the side, "Let me get dressed."

John nodded and sat on the bed.

As Elizabeth got to the bathroom door she felt a jolt of pain in the beck of her neck and her hand instantly flew up.

As a light flicked on in her mind, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

------

John rubbed at his neck again and tiredly rubbed at his eyes. He finally heard the bathroom light switch off and he mumbled, "Thought you got lost."

He felt her hands sliding down his chest before he heard her and he jumped up off the bed and gave her a disbelieving look, "What are you doing?"

Elizabeth was smiling and leaning on the bed, "You need to relax John. You're so tense."

"I'm tense," he questioned and moved over to her. "I'm tense _now_?"

Her hand flew up to his head and she ran her hands through is hair. He found himself grabbing them by the wrists and pulling them back down, "I don't underst-"

Her lips connected with his and he felt her tongue push into his mouth. For a moment he allowed it to happen and even found time to give her waist a quick squeeze before his main brain reasserted control and he pushed her away, "What's going on here. What happened in that bathroom?"

"Don't you want this?" she asked and reached down to his-_oh hello_-"John?"

He took a step back and shook his head, "No, yes, no….not like this…I….Elizabeth you're not making any sense here." He bought his hands up to his head, "We need to get you to Beckett."

"So any girl that makes a play for you must need medical attention?" She asked seductively, "Well perhaps you could come over here and play doctor."

"Look doing this with you would be fantastic. Sex ….of…any kind would be great, but you don't like me. Remember balcony, you said we had to remain professional?"

"I lied," she said looking up coyly.

John shook his head forcibly and walked over to her, "Elizabeth, please focus, something's wrong with you."

She leaned in and gave him a tender kiss on his mouth and he closed his eyes. When he opened them he wasn't prepared for the change of contours on her face. The longing look was replaced by an angry one and she shoved him backwards. He fell over the bed and fell onto his backside.

"We have things to do John," she said walking over to him, "Things that have to be done."

"What are you talking about?" asked John getting to his feet. "You're acting crazy!"

"You'll remember. I was injected before you," she said looking at her watch, "Which gives you another fifteen minutes. Until then I can't have you spoiling the plan."

"Whatever it is…..it's got to you. The thing in our head." He bought up a placating hand, "We need to go to Beckett okay, and he'll help us."

Elizabeth smiled, "Give it time John and you'll know what we must do." She bought up her fist and before John could mutter an expletive he felt it connect with his face and he sank to the ground. His last awareness was of Elizabeth stepping over him and walking out of the door.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

_Hope this isn't confusing at the moment, but you'll get the gist if you keep reading. They are definitely out of character at the moment huh?_

John had managed to hold onto consciousness and bolted down the corridor towards the infirmary.

His legs were pumping so hard he thought he might explode. His heart was pounding in his ears, his ribs screamed out for him to stop and his throat burnt as he tried to suck in air.

He had to get to the infirmary and tell Carson before, whatever had happed to Elizabeth, happened to him. He decided to take a short cut and ran through a door which connected to an outdoor balcony.

It was raining, but he continued to run at full pelt. All the while, rain smacking his face and getting in his eyes.

He looked up to see a figure stood up ahead. They were unmoving, waiting and he skidded to a stop before he crashed into them.

"I knew that punch wouldn't keep you down?" said Elizabeth leaning against the wall.

John looked up at the rain falling from the sky and the looked back at her.

"Where are you going?" she asked taking a step forward.

"Nowhere," said John lying.

She looked at her watch and shook her head, "You're trying to get to the infirmary to tell Beckett," she said reading his expression, "I'm sorry but I cant let you do that. I still have things to do."

John took an exaggerated step backwards and felt his back hit the railing.

He went to put his hand up to his ear, "Beckett!"

Elizabeth took a step forward and managed to rip the radio out from his ear before he could speak again.

John was angry, but Elizabeth was still Elizabeth and he fought off the urge to grab back the radio and seriously injure her. She threw it over the balcony and he closed his eyes.

The next thing he knew, he heard a click and felt cold metal against his wrist. He looked down and saw that Elizabeth had handcuffed him to the railing.

"What are you doing?" he said pulling on the restraints and feeling the burn as it chaffed against his skin.

"I'll be back for you soon," she said smiling. She looked at her watch and then back up to him, "Eight minutes to go."

"What's it like?" he asked over a rumble of thunder.

Elizabeth looked puzzled and cocked her head to the side, "Major Sheppard?"

"Whatever it is that's making you so crazy."

She took a step forward, "Seven minutes Major. It hurts less if you don't fight it."

"Elizabeth," inquired John.

Elizabeth patted his arm, "I have something to do. Enjoy the weather. I hear its going to get much worse."

John blinked and turned to her with a smile, "I like the rain."

He watched her walk off and pulled on the railing to see if it would budge. It was certainly strong, and the more he pulled, the more he just served to aggravate his wrist and his anger.

"Shit!" he called out into the rain and looked down at his watch.

SIX MINUTES.

He was stuck. No communication. No way out, just a throbbing headache and rain pounding at him with sick amusement.

FIVE MINUTES.

He walked along the railing, but found he could only go so far before the cuffs got stuck.

_I'll fight this,_ he thought.

There was no way in hell he was going to let himself lose control.

It was terrifying. Elizabeth was acting in antithesis to her usual calm exterior. He remembered with sickening clarity Koyla's remark.

"_You'll only know when it's too late." _

He wondered if he would lose himself altogether and if Elizabeth was already lost.

FOUR MINUTES.

John sank down to his knees and ran a hand through his soaking hair. He looked down to his feet and watched as the rain hit his boot. The pace was quickening. Along with his heart rate.

He was about to look up when he noticed something beyond his foot.

There was a ledge just beyond the railing, and on that ledge was his radio.

THREE MINUTES.

Moving himself round to a more comfortable position he attempted to reach for the discarded radio. He pulled as hard as he could but there was no give in the cuffs and he could feel his shoulder pulling as he reached out. His fingers brushed it and it moved away farther.

"Son of a bitch," muttered John as he felt a strange hot sensation sear up his neck.

Not long now.

TWO MINUTES.

He was pulling and pulling, his fingers brushing the earpiece. All he had to do was inform Doctor Beckett or anyone of the situation before whatever happened to him.

He turned around and with little hope cried out, "Hello? Anyone around!" he waited and strained his ears against the rain. But all he could hear was the steady tap, tap of rain on the metal railings.

He turned around again and reached out as far as he could.

He was too far away to reach.

Deciding the only way he could do this was by something giving he did the only thing he could think of and stood up, braced himself against the railing and slammed his shoulder into it. He felt his shoulder give and dislocate and proceeded to get into his previous position. He had minimal and excruciatingly painful movement but his fingers connected with the radio and he managed to pick it up.

ONE MINUTE.

The pain in his shoulder was terrible and he knew what was even worse was that he might have to pop it back in himself.

He had dislocated it years ago when he was in training and had since suffered the often irritating reminder as it had a nasty habit of coming out of place.

He put the radio in his ear and was about to activate it when he felt a blinding pain at the base of his neck and he went down to his knees.

"No," he managed to slur.

He tried to remain focused. Tried to keep his eyes open.

Something a lot stronger was pushing at his mind, giving him ideas and instructing him to do something he didn't want to do.

The more he tried to push against the information, the more pain he felt and after a good few minutes of futile struggling he felt his resolve well and truly disintegrate.

--------------

"Lt Ford, I need you to come down to the balcony on the East pier. Bring some pliers."

"Sir, what's going on you sound strange?" asked Aiden as he tapped his earpiece.

"Lt, just do what I say. Oh, and bring me my gear."

TBC

_Please keep going not long till you find out exactly what koyla did to them. _


	11. Chapter 11

When Aiden approached the balcony, the last thing he expected to see what his CO standing in the rain and handcuffed to a railing.

"Sir?" he asked as he reached him and inspected the cuffs at his wrist.

"Don't ask," said John blinking against the rain.

Aiden couldn't help but notice how glassy the Majors eyes were. If he hadn't known better he would have said that he was high. He thought a more accurate description at the moment would be pissed off.

John seemed to notice his look and turned away to gesture at the cuffs, "Would you do the honours?"

Aiden nodded and proceeded to cut them off.

"Are you okay?" asked Aiden as John rubbed at his wrist.

John was hugging his arm to his chest and held up a finger, "Hold on," he said and staggered over to the wall.

He braced himself against it and then seemed to go still for a second before finally ramming his shoulder into the wall and letting out a cry. Aiden was sure even through the rain, he could hear the groan of bone on bone.

John turned, gave his shoulder a tentative rub and then grabbed for his vest and P90.

"Sir what's going on?" he asked finding his hand go for his own weapon in preparation.

John hooked his P90 onto his vest, "Its okay Lt. This doesn't concern you. Go back to your room."

He turned around and started to walk off but Aiden followed closely and called out through the rain, "Sir, you're acting kinda strange."

John stopped but he didn't turn, "Lt, are you going to listen to me or not?" he asked.

Aiden strained to hear through the rain and now thunder was rumbling over head.

After a beat John turned and had his gun held up, pointed directly at Aiden's chest, "Room, now, go," he said with a steely gaze.

"I think maybe…you should go see Doctor Beckett," said Aiden taking his own hands off his gun in placation.

"Are you saying…..I'm crazy?" said John, "That I'm sick?"

"It appears you're not thinking straight," said Aiden gesturing to the gun pointed at him.

John smiled and took a step forward, the point of his gun now pressing into Aiden's ribcage. He took a deep breath in, afraid to breathe out in case John fired, "Sir?"

"I'm not going to tell you twice _kid_," said John relieving some of the pressure on his chest, "You wouldn't want my finger to slip now would you?"

Aiden took a step backwards and waited until John turned back.

As he watched him walk off he tried to make sense of what had just happened.

The behaviour that his superior was exhibiting was all wrong. He walked over to the railing and tapped his earpiece, "Doctor Beckett. I need to talk to you about Major Sheppard."

Aiden didn't feel the blow to the back of his head as he crumbled to the floor, nor did he hear John as he said, "I _told_ you to leave it."

--------------------

When Elizabeth entered the control room, she heard the blare of the alarms and watched as the door behind her slammed shut.

She sighed and walked into the main control room and saw the figure sat by one of the consoles. He was leaning on his elbow and doodling. She could hear the sound of water dripping off his uniform and down onto the floor.

"Major?" she said taking a step forward and crossing her arms.

John turned around in his chair. His hand rested over his P90 and he smiled, cocking his head to the side and saying, "I've been waiting for you."

"I see you didn't stay where I left you," she said bridging the distance, "Typical man."

John dropped the pen and stood up to meet her. She could see he was completely soaked through. His clothes clung to him tightly, his boots squelched and she watched as water dripped off the end of his nose. He bought a hand up to swipe it away.

"Where is everyone?" she asked scanning the completely empty gateroom.

"I persuaded a few people to leave," said John waving his P90 in front of her and then smiling broadly he said, "And I put the place into a lockdown."

"I see you planned ahead," said Elizabeth smiling, "I'm impressed."

John nodded and bounded up and down on his heels like a kid, "You haven't seen the best thing yet," he said pushing her towards the debriefing room.

When Elizabeth rounded the corner she could see Rodney, Carson, Aiden and Bates. Sat around the table, hands bound, gags in their mouths.

Elizabeth felt her mouth curl up and she patted John on the arm. "Good job." He winced and took a step away from her and she could see he was in some discomfort, "Problem?"

"I had a mishap with my shoulder," he said moving it a little.

They both looked up when Carson appeared to be trying to talk through the gag. John gave Elizabeth a fleeting look before going over to him and pulling the gag from his mouth.

"What was that?" asked John leaning in close.

Carson swallowed hard and then glanced up at John, "I said I could take a look at that if you like," Even in this strange situation Carson couldn't stop himself from being the Doctor. It was especially apparent that something wasn't quite right with the two commanding officers.

John seemed to think about it for a moment before shaking his head and walking over to Rodney.

"No thanks Doc. I managed to put it back myself."

Carson groaned, "At the risk of nerve damage."

"You want me to put the gag back on?"

Carson clamped his mouth shut.

John pulled the material away from Rodney's mouth and started to untie his hands.

Once they were released Rodney bought them round to the table top and inspected his wrists for marks, "Bates was right wasn't he," he said not tearing his eyes away from his hands, "Something was done to you whilst you were away."

John grabbed him by his arms and tugged him to a standing position, "What did he do to you?" he asked struggling free of Johns grip and coming round to stare at him straight in the eyes.

John pursed his lips and then went to look at Elizabeth and then back to Rodney again, "We need your help," he said pushing him out of the debriefing room and out to the control room.

"How long have you been orchestrating this?" he said as he was pushed down into a seat beside a console, "John? Elizabeth?" he asked.

He couldn't see a shred of his friends left in their eyes. It was as if they were acting on autopilot and there wasn't anything he could do to stop them. He after all, didn't have a weapon, nor any hope of beating John in fight.

"We need you to put information on earth, on this," said Elizabeth handing him a data pad.

"Why?" asked Rodney, "What possible reason could you want to -" he stopped mid sentence and let out a shaky breath, "Kolya."

John gave his shoulder a sharp squeeze, "Put it on the data pad."

Rodney shrivelled under his grasp and began to type away at the computer. Each keystroke was a violent jab to the keyboard and he could feel the anger building inside of him. This wasn't happening.

"Make sure you put in everything," said Elizabeth looking out to the gateroom. She couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't her.

"Why would you even give him this? It's useless. He can't get to earth and stargate command wouldn't let them through," he said as he typed, "We don't even have a ZPM."

John gave Rodney a short shove at his back and he turned and looked up at the man he had thought he considered his friend. This time there was no easy smile, nor was there a warmth in his eyes. Just a cold glare and a mouth twisted into a sneer.

"Work" he said.

"No," said Rodney leaning back and crossing his arms. He knew it was a stupid move but he wasn't going to hand anything over to Koyla.

The blow to his face forced his head to snap back. As he raised it again he could feel blood welling at his lip and he caught it before it could roll down his chin. He looked up at John and caught his eyes.

"Are you…sorry but you," John began to say but he grimaced and seemed to be in a bit of pain. A second later he shook his head and gave Rodney a prod, "Don't make me do that again."

Rodney wasn't sure if he had said that because next time he would kill him or if John didn't want to hit him again because some part of him still resided within.

After a few minutes of typing Rodney handed the data pad over to Elizabeth, "There, done." He said dejectedly.

"See," said John, "I knew you wouldn't be stupid."

Rodney wanted to say something about who was 'stupid' at the moment but he forced himself not to speak.

Elizabeth put her hand up to her ear and pulled out her radio.

John gestured to his ear to show her he had done the same not so long ago, "They keep trying to find out what's going on in here. Its annoying," he said.

Elizabeth nodded, "Teyla is outside with Markham and a team. She wants to come in," she said looking over to where the door was sealed shut.

John let out a short laugh, "She'll be waiting a long time."

John pulled Rodney up again and shoved him back towards the debriefing room, "This is ridiculous," said Rodney as he was manhandled back to his seat, "You don't behave like this."

John left his hands untied this time, "You're not going to try anything are you?" he asked. Rodney thought for a moment he could see a flash of the real John. His reluctance to tie him back up seemed to again hint at an underlying control. Rodney shook his head.

John suddenly started swaying and bought his hand up to his neck and started working at it with his hands. His P90's aim dropped a little and is eyes closed.

"What wrong?" asked Carson trying to release his hands from behind the chair, "Major?"

John's eyes snapped open and his gun was raised back up, "I'm fine," he said instinctively.

"I'm not convinced," said Carson.

"John? Are you ready?" called Elizabeth from the control room.

John seemed to look blankly for a moment before shaking his head and answering not so convincingly, "Uh..yeah. I'm coming," he said before giving Rodney a puzzled look and then running off to Elizabeth.

"Did you see that?" asked Rodney glancing at Carson, "Something has taken them over….or something I…they wouldn't do this usually…"

"Rodney," Carson interrupted.

"They must have been brainwashed or-"

"Rodney," hissed Carson.

"What?"

"Untie us," he whispered keeping his gaze dead straight.

Rodney raised his eyebrows and then glanced towards the control room where Elizabeth and John were doing something at the computer, "Oh yeah, right," he said getting up slowly and then lowering himself down to a crouch.

When he had just finished Untying Carson an automated voice suddenly said, "Self destruct has been initiated. 60 minutes till detonation."

"What?" Rodney shot up to a standing position as Carson pulled off the rope and ran over to Bates and Aiden.

The noise of the gate activating bought them all to a stand still, "They're leaving," said Bates freeing his hands.

"You stay here," said Aiden to Rodney and Carson as they began to go for the door.

"You can't be serious," said Rodney, "You don't have any weapons,"

"We know," said Aiden, "but we have to try and stop them before they go."

Both men ran out of the room and Carson and Rodney were left to stand and stare at each other.

"Well they are obviously going back to Kolya, "said Rodney.

Aiden and Bates managed to crouch down beside the DHD.

Bates reached down to his ankle and pulled out a concealed handgun. "They're going back," he said.

"We're not going to stop them in time," said Aiden quietly.

Bates stood up and feet firmly planted shoulder width apart he aimed down at John and Elizabeth, "Stop!" he shouted.

A spray of bullets came in his direction and he managed to duck before he was hit.

Bates raised his head just in time to watch as John and Elizabeth disappeared through the event horizon.

------------

TBC

_So finally you know what's going on but what's going to happen now._

_Please review as always._


	12. Chapter 12

As the gate deactivated and the gateroom returned to an eerie silence, both Aiden and Bates shot back up into a standing position.

"Doctor Mckay, I need you to get us out of lockdown and I need that self destruct stopped," shouted Bates across the control room.

"Are they gone?" asked Rodney as he ran over to the main console and started to work at the keyboard.

Bates fixed him with a look which told him for a smart guy, that was a stupid question. Rodney got the picture and let his shaky hands go to work.

"Ah," said Rodney all of a sudden. His temple was throbbing as a gentle reminder that they were running out of time.

"What?" asked Aiden walking over to him and peering over his shoulder.

Rodney shot him an irritated look and then shook his head, "Getting us out of lockdown is easy," he said, "Stopping the self destruct, not so easy."

"What do you mean?" asked Carson shoving his hands into his pockets and shuffling from one foot to another. "Can't you just enter you're code and cancel it out."

"Well usually you need either one of the commanding officers to initiate the sequence. This time we have both commanding officers inputting codes. We cant stop it without them."

Carson raised his eyebrows and looked over to Bates, "So what do we do?"

"Shouldn't you be asking me that?" asked Rodney raising a finger and cocking his head to the side, "Aren't I in charge again?"

Bates shook his head, "That's not really the matter at the moment is it. Reverse the lockdown, "he said walking over to the pile of weapons that John had taken off them.

"What are you going to do?" asked Rodney.

"We're going to assemble a team and we're going to go after them," said Bates, "They couldn't have gone far."

"And you think they'll come back voluntarily?" snorted Rodney, "You need to find out what's wrong with them."

"What's this?" said Aiden pointing to a pad of paper beside the console.

All three men peered around the pad of paper and looked at the scrawl upon it.

"What does that say?" asked Rodney snatching it off the table and putting it close to his face.

"Wasn't Major Sheppard sat here before?" asked Aiden excitedly.

"What are you getting at?" asked Bates.

"Doesn't that look like a word?" he said pointing to one section of the paper.

"It looks like a child wrote it," said Bates dismissively.

"Definitely Sheppard's writing then," said Rodney, finding time to smirk.

"It says _head_," said Carson snatching the page off Rodney.

In the centre of a number of circular scrawls and geometric doodles was the shakily written word.

Rodney grabbed it back off him, "It does."

"Why would he write that?" asked Aiden.

"Sheppard was trying to point us in the right direction," said Carson suddenly.

"Oh please, "said Bates "we don't have time for this?"

"Get us out of lockdown," said Carson suddenly, "I need to get to the infirmary."

"What are you going to do?" asked Aiden rubbing his hands together as Rodney keyed in the code for the doors to open.

"Did you see the way Sheppard kept rubbing at the back of his neck. I've seen Elizabeth do it too and they've both been having headaches since they got back."

"So you're saying you think they have something in their head?" asked Aiden.

"I'm going to have a look at their latest blood and MRI scans," he said passing Teyla as she entered the room with a team behind her. In her wake, other personnel began to enter the room, all whispering and scanning the room for a potential threat still lingering.

"Well don't be long," shouted Rodney.

Teyla approached them at the console and gave Bates a nod, "Should I be concerned?" she asked.

"Long story," said Rodney cutting in before Bates could give her to even longer version. "Elizabeth and John have been taken over by something and they went through the gate…..oh and now we are in self destruct."

"Can you not stop it?" she asked.

"No we've been through this," said Rodney sitting down at the console.

"Can we not evacuate everyone to an alpha site?" asked Teyla leaning against the console.

Bates shook his head, "What alpha site? So far every one we have considered has been compromised. That last one was our best hope and now it seems the Genii have taken it." He paused momentarily.

"Would the mainland not be sufficient?" asked Teyla. "I'm sure my people would accommodate-"

Rodney shook his head, "There's not enough time. We have fifty….no hang on… forty nine minutes and counting until we're dead. Bates is right, we need to get Elizabeth and John back." Rodney gave an involuntary shiver. Agreeing with Bates felt wrong somehow.

"What happens if we don't find them?" said Aiden.

"They were going back to Kolya," said Rodney. He was feeling more and more frustrated with his growing inability to rectify the situation. There was no way he could stop the self destruct. That was the beauty of that particular system, it couldn't be hacked into.

"I still think we should consider evacuation," said Aiden. He turned to Bates, "Right?"

Bates shook his head, "They only have a ten minute start." He shot Teyla a look, "I guess we could start sending some personnel to the mainland,"he said, trying to assert some authority. As head of Atlantis' security detail he felt it was his responsibility now, despite Lt Ford's higher rank, to minimise damage and maintain order.

"You guess," said Rodney throwing his hands up in the air.

"Rodney?"

"Beckett, uh that was quick."

"Aye. Well as I recall we're pushed for time," he said speaking quickly, "I looked at their MRI's and there's a small foreign object at the base of their skulls. I can't believe I missed it before."  
"Well you did, "said Rodney, offering no assurance, "So what did you find?"

"I _am_ a competent Doctor you know Rodney?" said Carson, his voice conveying the anger at Rodney's remark.

"Oh I know its not all voodoo," said Rodney, "You have your uses, now what did you find?"

"Nothing," he said.

"Pardon?"

"Their blood is clean, no toxins present in the blood, which indicates the foreign object isn't organic but-"

"Manmade," said Rodney.

The line went silent for a moment.

"The …..object is located in an area which could effect the behavioural pathways and alter their emotional responses. It would definitely explain the strange behaviour that John had been exhibiting and his bout of depression. Not to mention their reoccurring headaches."

"So you're sure it's manmade?" asked Rodney.

"It makes the most sense when everything else turns up clean. Why?"

"Well because then we can get rid of it easily."

"Easily?"

"EM pulse," said Rodney smugly.

"That's your answer for everything." Said Carson

"Hey if it works don't fix it, or something like that" he said, "Look do you have any better ideas?"

"I have to admit I'm stumped. Removing it could be tricky." Carson was silent again. "I'm coming back up to you."

Bates was stood over him and raised an eyebrow, "Could that work?"

"I'm not the genius for nothing," said Rodney, "If its manmade it will be firing some kind of electric pulse, urgo we can disable it,"

"Okay" said Bates, "I need you to set this up quickly, we'll take through a team in a jumper and try to locate them."

"I'll organise a team," said Aiden.

Bates gave a curt nod.

Aiden smiled and gestured to Teyla, "I'll need you, Markham and Stackhouse to take a second jumper."

Teyla smiled weakly and nodded.

"We'll need someone to drive," said Rodney.

Bates nodded, "Who do you have in mind?"

Rodney tapped his earpiece, "Uh Beckett. Hope you're up for a bit of flying today?"

There was a groan from the other end and Rodney nodded, "He'll do it"

"If this doesn't work you realise Atlantis is screwed," said Bates.

Rodney nodded and swallowed hard, "This will work. It makes sense."

---------------------------------------

When John and Elizabeth stepped through the gate on the other side they hadn't expected the welcoming party.

Kolya was flanked by two other men. One was the scientist who John recognised as the man who had delivered the injection to Elizabeth's and his neck. The other was a heavy who had beaten on him more than one occasion.

Kolya was looking at his watch and he raised his head, "Right on schedule," he said stepping forward, "Doctor Weir, Major Sheppard."

Elizabeth and John took a step forward but John continued forward and his fist flew out at Kolya's face. Before he could hit him though he seemed to take control and slid to his knees breathing in and out heavily.

Kolya smiled down at him and then gestured to his scientist friend, "Seems the effects are variable Hollin," he looked up at Elizabeth, "How are you feeling?"

Elizabeth didn't answer.

Hollin knelt down in front of John and took out a small penlight, similar to what Carson used and started to shine it into John's eyes. John flinched away from him but made no attempt to get back up to his feet.

"The chip's not taking hold of this one like it should," he watched as John gritted his jaw together.

Kolya narrowed his eyes, "He's fighting it."

Hollin stood up, "He may be fighting it but he's still here. Conclusive evidence that this technique works."

Kolya clapped the man on the back, "Congratulations Doctor," he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a syringe, "I want you to make more. I'll see that you are rewarded for your efforts."

Hollin smiled, "Well thank you Sir."

Kolya inspected the syringe momentarily before shoving it back into his pocket. "I've sent my men through to another site," he said walking around John, "Now you've reached the final stage, the Genii need to relocate."

"Final stage?" asked John looking up from the floor.

"You remember being injected?" he asked crouching down in front of John.

John nodded.

"You remember that we gave you instructions?"

John nodded again.

"Instructions?" asked Elizabeth suddenly.

Kolya gave her a fleeting look before returning his gaze back to John, "You're..mission," he said suppressing a smile, "Was to secure information on Earth and to destroy Atlantis." He stood up quickly, "And on completion of handing that information over to me," he paused and smiled, "kill each other."

John's breathing quickened and he managed to push himself up.

"I need you to hand me the data on earth," said Kolya walking forward, palm open.

Elizabeth looked down at the data pad in her hand and considered the situation. She knew why she was here now, knew everything about this state was wrong, but still she found herself stretching her arm out and dropping the data pad into Kolya's hand before she could stop herself.

John's hand flew up to grab at the device but instead his eyes fixed with Elizabeth's. She thought she could see him for a moment and their gaze held a conversation of apology.

Neither of them could stop themselves and that look of comprehension was interrupted.

Simultaneously, Elizabeth reached down and grabbed the Beretta from John's calf holster as he unclipped and cocked his P90. Their weapons were not a match and John knew if he let himself slip, Elizabeth would be far off worse than him.

They stood, guns aimed at each other, panting hard with the exertion of not pulling their respective triggers.

"Don't let me stop you," said Kolya.

John licked his lips and tried to concentrate. This wasn't going to happen. He wasn't going to pull that trigger.

The pain in his neck was making everything seem blurry and the more he tried to focus, the more he felt like he was losing control.

Elizabeth too was beginning to perspire as she looked across at the man she knew she couldn't_, wouldn't_ kill.

"You shouldn't have shown me how to use a gun," she said, straining to keep her voice calm.

John clenched his jaw and nodded, "I told you, you'd need it." A wry smile graced his mouth.

Kolya watched the spectacle and then nodded to Hollins, "Activate the DHD," he said and then to Elizabeth, "How long before Atlantis is destroyed?"

Elizabeth was panting hard and trying not to answer but the words shot out before she could stop them, "forty minutes, maybe less……."

Kolya nodded, "Good," he rubbed his hands together.

"Sir," said Hollins all of a sudden.

Kolya irritated, turned to him, "What is it?"

Kolya realised what he was saying as he heard the familiar whine as the stargate began to initiate a dialling sequence , though not from their end.

"Incoming wormhole," he said taking a step backwards.

"Retreat to cover," Kolya said pulling out his handgun, "It could be wraith."

"It could be their people?" said Hollins.

Kolya shook his head, "Would they be so stupid?"

Hollins nodded, "What about them?"

"Leave them," said Kolya, "They wont hold on much longer, whether or not it is their men." and they ran for cover.

TBC

_Hope this doesn't feel rushed. I wanted to get a sense of urgency going. Keep reading and reviewing. Not too many chapters left now._


	13. Chapter 13

The event horizon closed down and Hollins turned to Kolya, "Nothing came through Sir."

Kolya nodded, "I can see that. Get out there and re-dial before anyone can dial in"

-----------

They were still stood to the side of the gate, exposed and in the open. The clearing was surrounded by trees. Big green trees. That's right, all he had to do was concentrate on anything but the gun in his hand. That would be the P90, with its semi automatic capacity. Its ability to fire off 90 rounds in a few seconds. The trigger where his finger fit so snugly it felt like home.

Shit, the trees. Concentrate on the trees..

John could feel his resolve faltering. He had developed a tremor in the finger on the trigger and he didn't know how much longer he could hold it. Soon he would have to face the inevitable. And he didn't want to face that inevitable. Mainly because that inevitable would be final.

Elizabeth wasn't faring much better and she could feel the trigger beginning to depress. "John, I…"

John gave a small nod, "Just concentrate on not-"

"-Killing you," she finished.

He let out a short laugh.

"Think about Atlantis," he said trying to breathe out the bad thoughts.

"Atlantis," said Elizabeth. She closed her eyes and found herself reliving the past few hours there. She wanted to go back but she couldn't move.

"Yeah or…." He was licking his lips and gave his head a harsh shake, "Don't think about pulling that trigger."

"John I can't hold on," she said desperately.

"Just focus," he said bringing up his other hand. "We just have to hold on."

"For what?" asked Elizabeth. "I don't want to kill you."

"I don't want you to kill me either," said John feeling his arm begin to shake. "I don't want to kill. Especially not you"

"We put Atlantis at risk all this time and-" she broke off, swallowing against the bile that rose in her throat. "I hate that I can now remember everything we did, it was so much easier before when-"

"-We were ignorant to it." He bit his lip, "I know."

She was feeling increasingly hot and the niggling intention at the back of her mind to pull the trigger was increasing.

"John."

He gave her a withering look, "Don't."

"I cant hold on-" At that point she pressed down and a bullet escaped from the barrel. John managed to twist in time but it still caught him in the side of his stomach. He cried out and hunched over as he felt it rip through, but not before pressing the trigger on his own weapon. An expletive left his mouth as he watched Elizabeth take the impact.

It was Elizabeth's turn to cry out as the single bullet caught her thigh.

Both of them were still standing, both of them were still holding their weapons up.

"I don't think I can miss next time," said Elizabeth breathing in deeply against the pain in her leg.

"That was you _missing,_" said John gruffly. He could feel blood spilling down his hip and collecting at the waistband of his trousers.

"Can you walk away?" asked Elizabeth.

John shook his head, "Not a chance in hell."

---------------------------------------

"Did they see us?" asked Carson as he readjusted the flight controls.

Rodney sighed and continued to fiddle with the EM generator, "No Carson, because we are in stealth. That means we are invisible. Stealth equals invisible, got it?"

Carson shook his head, "I'm not a bloody pilot, I'm a Doctor. Why do you need me anyway?"

Aiden shot Bates an aggravated look. The two had been bickering ever since they had stepped into the puddle jumper. Aiden was putting it down to an increasingly stressful situation, Bates was putting it down to incompetence on both sides.

"Because they might need medical attention," said Rodney sighing.

"Any sign of them?" asked Bates approaching the front view screen.

Carson looked over the controls and seemed to concentrate for a moment.

"What are you doing?" asked Aiden coming to stand next to Bates.

Carson cracked one eye open and then said, "It doesn't come as easy to me as it does Sheppard," He closed his eye again, "I'm trying to bring up the life signs detector."

Aiden nodded as a screen appeared and he pointed at two life signs next to the gate, "Is that them?"

Carson opened his eyes and the screen disappeared.

"They didn't get very far," said Carson bringing the puddle jumper around for another circuit of the gate.

"We just need to activate the EM pulse in their vicinity," said Rodney still making adjustments.

"Will it hurt them?" asked Aiden nervously.

"I don't know," said Rodney.

"I hope this works," said Carson, "How long before self destruct?"

Rodney checked his watch, "Plenty of time," he said with a grim expression, "Just get us over that gate."

----------------------------------

John was feeling increasingly dizzy and coupled with the throbbing at the back of his head, standing was now becoming an issue. He wished for the gentle pull of unconsciousness but something wasn't allowing him to get there. Instead, he was teetering on the edge of it.

John barely registered Hollin's to the side of him at the dhd, and he barely registered it when Elizabeth's finger squeezed the trigger. This time the bullet flew wide, but he still heard it hit flesh.

"Oh god, I missed," she said letting her breath escape quickly, "I thought-"

John wasn't listening to her. He couldn't turn his head but he was aware of Kolya and his heavy rushing out and to a downed Hollins. Elizabeth's shot had hit something, or rather someone.

Kolya looked down at the bullet hole in his friends chest and put his hand over it to stem the blood. The liquid poured through his fingers.

"You'll be fine," he said, echoing words he had heard John say not so long ago.

Hollins was gripping his arm tightly and staring upwards. The grip soon lessened until his hand fell to his side.

Kolya took a moment to close his friends eyes and then remained still.

Kolya looked up at John and Elizabeth and reaching for his own weapon stood up and walked over to the two.

"This has gone on too long, I'll do it myself."

Just as he was about to pull the trigger he watched as both Elizabeth and John went down to their knees.

He turned back to his heavy and then back to them.

Both had their hands up to their heads and both were groaning.

"What?" asked Kolya.

He was about to turn away when all of a sudden he felt his own weapon pulled from his hand and he realised he now had two guns pointed at him.

"This isn't supposed to happen," said Kolya getting frustrated, "You're supposed to kill each other."

John gave Elizabeth a quick look and then got back up to his feet, "Guess it didn't work. Are you okay?" John asked Elizabeth.

She nodded, "I think so."

John turned back to Kolya and pushed the end of his P90 into Kolya's shoulder, "Where do you want it this time?"

Kolya swallowed hard, "So _you're_ not dead. Atlantis soon will be."

John pointed Kolya's weapon at the heavy, "I suggest you leave." He didn't need to be told twice and he ran off, his feet slipping on the ground as he went. "Well it would seem that you're all alone."

Kolya pursed his lips and looked down at Johns hand. He was holding it close to his stomach and Kolya reached down to move it. Johns hand was covered in blood and he was bent over awkwardly from the pain, "I'd say you haven't got long left." He scanned John's pale features and smiled.

John was about to answer when Kolya smacked him across the face and ran off. John cursed and looked down at Elizabeth, "Stay here. I'll be right back."

"John you can't, you're injured." Elizabeth sat on the ground, her hands wrapped around her bleeding leg and tried to concentrate on anything but the splicing pain down her calf.

John reached out, grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, "He has the information on earth. I'll be right back."

He took off, all the while holding one hand to his side and the other with gun in hand. His P90 was dangling from its clip and clattered against his chest with every stride.

"Kolya," he shouted out as he ran into the trees and barely reacted when a figure jumped out and knocked him to the ground.

Kolya was struggling on top of him and trying to get the gun from John's hand but he wasn't having much luck. Even in his fragile state, Johns renewed control over his mind gave him the motivation to have a vice like grip on that weapon.

John managed to bring up his legs and kick Kolya off him.

"I need you to give me that data pad," said John from the floor.

Kolya laughed in his face from beside him and bought a hand up to his chin, "I don't think so."

John lashed out and smacked Kolya with the butt of the gun. His head lolled back and John jumped on top of him.

He reached into his pockets and found what he was looking for as Kolya, dazed from the blow, blinked a few times to clear his vision.

John put the data pad into his vest pocket and pressed his hand down on Kolya's throat.

"You think you have won," spat Kolya, "This is just the beginning."

John pressed harder and looked down at the man below him. He epitomized everything he hated.

"I ought to kill you," said John feeling the dizziness in his head blur the edges of his vision.

"Feeling okay?" asked Kolya.

John pressed harder, "Are you?" But he knew he was swaying and when he looked down at his side he could see the blood dripping onto Kolyas uniform and staining it with every drop.

John pushed so hard on Kolya's neck he could see the mans conscious state was faltering.

He pushed himself off Kolya and grabbed the syringe out of his pocket. He had seen him stash it there earlier, "Is this the last you have?" asked John trying to keep awake and alive.

Kolya was coughing on the oxygen that now choked him, "We'll make more."

"Works through suggestion huh?" asked John kneeling.

Kolya was still straining to breathe and the veins in his neck were bulging, "Impressive huh?" asked Kolya. John realised that he wanted his genuine approval and John nodded, "Effective."

John punched Kolya in the nose and he felt the cartilage break beneath the force. Blood was cascading down Kolya's neck and chin.

"What are you going to do?"

John grabbed him by the shoulder, rolled him over and bent close to Kolya's ear, "I'm not going to kill you."

He thought at that point, he heard Kolya release a sigh of relief. John took the cap off the syringe and plunged it into the back of his neck.

Kolya emitted a cry of pain and instinctively bought his hand up.

John staying close to his ear said, "Here's a suggestion for you," and he cleared his throat as he pulled out something from his vest pocket, "When you see this man…" He pushed a mirror into Kolya's face and he looked at his own reflection. The blood dripping down his face, "…you make sure you kill him." John shoved him away and groaning got up into a standing position.

Kolya continued to stare into the mirror and turned to John as he staggered back towards the gate, "You cant do this to me," he shouted getting into a sitting position.

John was weaving and he knew it, he couldn't keep straight and was using the trees as support, "Kolya, here's another suggestion for you."

Kolya was silent, but he knew he was listening.

"I'd avoid shiny surfaces if I were you."

"I'll kill you," shouted Kolya. Though he was weaponless and alone.

"No you'll kill you," said John continuing to walk.

---------

When John got back to Elizabeth he instantly felt his legs crumple beneath him and he welcoming the feeling of stillness.

"Where's Kolya?" she asked touching him on the shoulder.

John couldn't answer, he was too tired.

"John?"

"We're safe," he said as he felt the wind beginning to pick up and assorted debris assault his face. "What's that?" he asked without getting up.

Elizabeth was smiling and she looked down on him with bright eyes, "Puddle jumper," she said.

John waited, stared up at the blue sky, until Rodney's face appeared over his, "We need to get you back to Atlantis and you need to input the code to stop it exploding."

"Hi to you too, Rodney," said John feeling the words were slurred.

"We only have-" Rodney looked at his watch, "-ten minutes left."

"Can't believe we stood there for that long," said John.

Elizabeth gave his shoulder another comforting squeeze, "God job we did."

"What are you talking about?" asked Rodney derisively.

John snorted and let his eyes roll back, "Long story, tell you about it later."

He could feel someone prodding and poking him and hands on his wrists, "Hi Beckett," he said without looking.

"Major Sheppard," said Carson. He was wrapping something over his wound.

"How did we….?" He couldn't finish the question.

Rodney was poking him now, "EM Pulse."

"EM," said John feeling his eyes closing.

Elizabeth was now shaking him awake.

"You had a chip in your head, I spotted it on the MRI," said Carson, "John, John."

John was closing his eyes but before he could close them completely he could hear discussion of codes, Atlantis and self destruct.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

_Thank you all for your continuing support and reviews. Couldn't name you all but thanks. Oh and nightmare – welcome to the site. The whole rank thing. I guess because I see Bates as being older I see him as being more experienced and more of authority figure. I was going with the whole being Head of Security for Atlantis that he might assert some kind of authority in John's absence. If that makes sense, but you're absolutely right._

_-----------_

John was aware of hands grabbing him under his arms and hauling him up some steps. His ankles hit the next step up and he tried to tell them to stop moving him.

When the movement did finally cease he could feel a gentle slap to his face and he managed to prise his eyes open long enough to see Carson's face hovering over him.

"We need you to key in your code," said Carson shooting a glance over to Elizabeth. They had managed to bandage her leg and blood was still coming through the gauze but she at least was coherent enough to key in her code.

She sat back with a heavy sigh and two personnel grabbed her by the arms to keep her upright.

"You have to wake him," said Rodney checking the timer.

"He's losing blood," said Carson angrily, "And he's losing consciousness because he's dying. At least let me fix him up before-"

"There's no time," said Bates, "We need you to get him awake to put his code in."

Carson pursed his lips and seemed to weigh up the options. "John come on, stay with us, what's your code?"

"He's not going to answer you," said Rodney rubbing at his head, "We're going to die."

"We are not going to die Rodney," said Elizabeth.

John although being held up was sagging and his eyes were drooping, "Leave me alone," he said with a futile swipe of his hand.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" asked Teyla.

Carson again looked up at the faces over him and shook his head. One of his medical team were stood nearby and he gestured for her to give him the medic bag, "I want to remind you that this is highly unethical, not too mention cruel," he said pulling out a syringe and pulling the cap off it.

"What is that?" asked Aiden leaning in.

Carson indicated for John to be laid flat and he set about opening his vest and cutting open his t shirt, also revealing the full extent of his injury. "Its adrenaline," he said, "It should give him enough juice to wake up and put in the code."

He felt for the correct position and let the needle hover over Johns heart, "I'm sorry John," he said and slammed the syringe in.

"Oh god," said Rodney turning away too late.

"It's the most direct way to get adrenaline in to him. It'll also put a hell of a strain on his heart."

John rolled over and seemed to cry out before his eyes snapped open and he instinctively tried to get up. Rodney put a hand on his shoulder to steady him and John looked confused.

"We need you to put your code in" said Rodney as John was helped up into a semi standing position. He was hunched over at his injured side and Elizabeth was horrified to see blood dripping to the floor.

"Code?" asked John. He seemed disorientated and looked about the room before letting his eyes drop down to his side.

"John, please?" asked Elizabeth, herself feeling the effects of blood loss.

John looked over at her and knew instantly that they were in some trouble.

"Major, you have to concentrate," said Carson grabbing him by the chin and looking him straight in the eyes.

John nodded an understanding. He turned back to the keyboard and slowly started to type in his code.

"We only have a few minutes left," said Rodney, "Pick up the pace,"

"Leave him alone," said Aiden.

John stopped and gave him a look before letting out a long breath.

"One more number," said Rodney now tapping his fingers on the console.

John put his hand up to his head and appeared to be trying to remember the sequence.

"Don't tell me you can't remember"

"Not with you jabbering like a fool," snapped Carson angrily.

"Jabbering?"

"Shut up," said Bates to the both of them.

"Hang on," said John.

"What number is it?"

"I can't think when you're all shouting in my ear," rasped John.

He completed the sequence and everybody waited with baited breath.

"That's it, it should be done,"

They waited and finally an automated voice called out. "Self destruct has been cancelled."

"Well done," said Elizabeth.

John let himself be guided to the floor again but he couldn't close his eyes, he felt too wired to slip back into the warmth of the darkness. This meant that the pain in his side was more awake than ever, spiking and lancing down through his body.

"We need to get him to the infirmary stat," said Carson placing his hand over John's side to stem the blood.

-----------------------------

The steady beeping of a life support machine bought John back to consciousness.

Movement beside him forced him to look left and he saw Rodney, sitting in a chair, chin resting on his chest, snoring quietly. He looked past him and saw Elizabeth was lying in bed, leg propped up on a few pillows. She too was sleeping soundly.

He smiled and settled back into his pillow to sleep.

------------------------------

His second awakening was forced. Carson was shaking his shoulder and before he could even say a word a penlight was being shone into his eyes at the same time as somebody was readjusting his bedding.

"Stop it," he said bringing his hands up to his face and opening his eyes up into the relative safety of his cupped hands. He sneaked a look through a crack in his fingers and sighed when he saw Carson writing something down on a chart.

"Doc," he mumbled weakly.

"How are you feeling lad?"

John thought about it for a minute and then said, "Good, really really good."

"Morphine's working then," said Carson jotting something down on the chart.

"What's the damage?"

"The bullet missed any vital organs, you are very lucky," said Carson.

"So, no missions for a while?" John asked trying to sit up.

Carson put a hand on his shoulder and readjusted the bed position instead, "Nothing for a while."

"I'm a sorry about-"

"Tying me up and gagging me?" asked Carson patting him on the shoulder, "It's okay. You can't exactly be blamed for your actions over the past month."

John plucked at the bedding and nodded lamely, "Thanks Doc." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Did you remove the..?"

Carson shook his head, "Removing it would do more damage than good."

"So it's still there?" John groaned.

"It's small and more detailed scans have shown it to be a tiny little transmitter. The EM pulse disabled it, so don't worry."

John pulled a face which showed his disgust and he sighed, "I want it gone."

"Well if you're okay about losing your speech and risk being paralysed then I can hack it out for you," said Carson.

John opened his mouth, thought better of it and then closed it shut again. "How's Elizabeth?"

"She's fine. The bullet went clean through. She won't be able to walk on it for a while, but she'll recover."

"She's awake," said a voice from the other side of the privacy curtain and Carson drew it back slightly red faced, "Ah Elizabeth, How are you feeling?"

"I'm bored," she said giving John a warm smile, "I need to know how my city is."

Carson walked over to her bed and checked her IV bag, "Rodney is doing just fine." He said making a point not to look at her.

"Well could you tell him to keep me in the loop," she said rather embarrassed.

Carson nodded and disappeared into his office, but not before telling them to rest.

"Guess its going to be like this for a while," said John making himself comfortable.

"Suits me," said Elizabeth.

"Are you really okay?" asked John.

Elizabeth pursed her lips together, "What happened to Kolya?" she said looking down at the large bandage on her leg.

"He won't be bothering us again," said John flattening the tape over his IV needle.

"Did you kill him?" she asked.

"No," said John.

Elizabeth seemed relieved at that prospect. Though, if she knew what he had actually done she may have thought it to be much worse. He was never going to kill him in cold blood though, not even Kolya deserved that.

"We need to organise a service for Blake," said Elizabeth. She looked over at John and waited for his response.

"As soon as I'm out of this bed," said John, "Then we can put this all to rest."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

_Just a bit of fun._

John had managed to get out of the infirmary a week early due to good behaviour. He hadn't made a single escape attempt, nor had he inflated all of the latex gloves to make jazz hands again, nor had he tried to lasso the IV pole with the IV bag. Oh, and he hadn't played Frisbee with the trays.

So all in all, today was a good day.

Aside from the stabbing pain in his side, but then he wasn't going to tell Carson about that. He was pretty sure it was just his stitches anyway, or at least, he hoped.

When he got out to the balcony, he saw the familiar figure, complete with crutches leaning against the railings.

He stood beside her and closed his eyes as he sucked in a lungful of sea air.

"Carson let you go then," Elizabeth said.

John nodded, "This morning."

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment before Elizabeth finally spoke, "I've been remembering certain things," she said swallowing her nervousness.

John turned to look at her and gave her a grin, "Really?"

"I kissed you. I mean, not me,-" she paused and tried to coordinate her thoughts.

"You mean evil Weir kissed me," he said licking his lips at the memory.

"Only you said, you would, under any other circumstance and-

John now felt his cheeks flush and he hoped she would put it down to the fresh air on his face, "I was evil too remember?"

"Not at that point you weren't."

There was that silence again.

"Anyway we should probably forget the whole thing," said Elizabeth.

"I agree," said John, "Say no more."

"I wont."

"Good," said John, "Good kiss though."

Elizabeth went dead still and he thought he heard her mutter something under her breath.

"What was that?" asked John moving in closer.

"I said, you weren't bad yourself." Then she turned to him, "And if you ever tell anyone I said that I will assign you to the sewage system."

John smiled and put an arm around her. This time she didn't flinch away.

"So you fancy watching a movie or something. I'm still not cleared for full duty." asked Elizabeth.

John was taken aback, "You're asking me? I thought we were supposed to have a purely professional relationship?"

"You are right. Just because we spend time together it doesn't mean people think were doing anything else."

John nodded, "Yeah okay"

"Great," said Elizabeth and they continued to stare out at the horizon.

-------------

"Hey, come over here, look." Lt Marks grabbed Lt Jones as he passed and pointed out to the balcony where John had his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Man, they are so doing it," said Jones with a wry smile.

Marks agreed, "Totally."

_The End._

_Thanks for reading. Its been a great ride and I'm so happy I met the 100 mark in reviews. I just wanted to end this story on a light hearted note. Was there anything else you wanted to see happen?_


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